Everyday, it's a gettin' closer,

Hi friends. It's been a minute. I started off the year strong and then . . . well, nothing. Nothing for months. I'm sorry about that. I honestly don't have a great excuse - I've just been out of the habit.

I know one challenge is that I don't have a typical schedule. There is almost nothing predictable about my schedule most weeks. Sometimes I have classes or rehearsals, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I have an extra dog to care for. Sometimes I don't. No 9 to 5 job for two years now. Every day is a little different.

I've tried to come up with routines and schedule my days to actually get things done and use all this time and flexibility I have to do as I please and sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. I'm a big fan of my life right now and I actually do get a lot of things done and have great adventures, so I don't really regret my inability to consistently do ALL of the things AND keep a good record of it. There is always more I could be doing, sure, but as long as I'm doing something, it's better than nothing.

I really enjoyed a talk from the most recent General Conference of the The Church of the Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints titled "Divine Discontent", which outlines the different between divine discontent and paralyzing discouragement. Divine discontent, an inspired feeling of the need to do more, can lead us to action, doing good, and come closer to Christ. Paralyzing discouragement does the opposite - convinces us there is no point to even trying, it won't make a difference and we'll never get any better. I've certainly experienced that kind of discouragement, but I also certainly prefer the divine discontent.

As Gordon B. Hinckley said, we should "go with determination to try a little harder to be a little better." That's what I'm going to do. It's NaBloPoMo season, and I haven't missed one yet, so I'm going to try and get back in the groove. Again. I'll try to talk about current events, adventures of the last year, and life in Japan updates. Life is good!

Malcolm napping today. He's a weirdo.

You'll learn things you never knew, you never knew

Today I happened upon a blog post listing 10 Japanese Travel Tips for Visiting America. It's from February 2016, and I'm a fan of Mental Floss, so I've probably read it before. After a year as an American living in Japan, however, it's a really interesting read. Some things that stood out to me were their suggestions on laughter (Americans laugh loudly - Japanese do not) and slow cashiers (the Japanese cashiers are incredibly efficient). They are also not wrong about the dinner dishes and table settings. I definitely laugh more loudly than the locals (something that was really noticeable at the showing of Allegiance - no one ever laughed out loud except the four of us), but I can definitely get behind the efficient cashiers and flavorful foods. We've also discussed our love for Japanese vending machines.

Fortunately, even though I know I do things differently, I try my best and I feel like the Japanese are a patient people. They are more embarrassed personally when gaijin (foreigners) can't understand something and do it wrong, because they should have made it easier for you. I've never once felt shamed because I made a mistake, and I've made plenty.

I think that it is really key just to try. Just try, in whatever country you're traveling, to do your best and you'll be okay. Things will be different from whatever you're used to, sometimes wildly so, and expecting the same treatment or experience that you would at home will limit your opportunities to learn and experience new things. Learn a few words in the language, travel the way locals do, and just try! Really, what's the point of traveling otherwise?

Some people never leave home or try new things or do anything differently than they've ever done. And, really, that's fine. If those people are happy, then I am happy for them. But I don't understand those people. There is a great big world out there and I want to see as much of it as I can! I'm not as well traveled as some, but like I said - I try. And that counts for a lot.

Paris, Christmas 2007

London, Christmas 2007

Cairo, May 2010

Cairo, May 2010

Tucson, September 2010

New York City, 2015

Seoul, August 2017

Kamakura, October 2016

I am what I wear (my strongest suit)

I'm a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, also known as the Mormons. When possible on Sundays, I discuss some things related to my faith and what I believe. With respect to your own beliefs, I hope this gives you a chance to get to know me and my religion a little better. For previous installments, click here.

Based solely on my observation, it seems that the Japanese people tend to dress very situationally appropriate. They consider the activity, the weather, and their commute (among other things) into putting together their daily ensemble, more so than I really see in the States. The Japanese are very practical in a lot of ways, and this is one of them. For example, there aren’t a lot of women wearing stilettos whilst waiting for a train, and, if it’s sunny, they protect their skin with hats and long, lightweight sleeves. If they are into a particular hobby, like biking or hiking, they definitely dress the part as if it’s a uniform. I’m sure there are exceptions to all of this, but in daily life in the suburbs I see a lot of practical, situationally appropriate dress.

I have tried to adopt that more than I already did into my own clothing and lifestyle. I wear good footwear, whether or not it really matches, and I’m building a weather appropriate wardrobe so that I can comfortably commute on foot in the summer as well as the winter. Not being able to quickly go from air conditioned/heated car to air conditioned/heated building and back means I have to be prepared to spend a lot more time in the elements. I also am very mindful of what I’ll be doing that day, and wear clothing appropriate to that activity. This particular habit is not new, but if I’m not wearing the right clothes, I have to haul them on my back, and I choose to minimize how much I’m carrying around if possible. So, I choose outfits that will work for all my activities as best I can and potentially only carry small changes (shoes, top, etc.) if necessary. 

Today’s situation was that I would be attending the first two hours (out of three) of church, and then we would duck out and walk a few blocks to a local community center where I would be performing with my taiko club. So, contrary to our church’s culture (not doctrine), I wore pants to church. 

I wasn’t trying to make a statement, I was just trying to be comfortable, practical, and situationally appropriate. The pants are black, wide-legged dress pants that, paired with a nice cardigan and shirt, still made me feel like I was wearing my “Sunday best”. Then, at the community center, I switched my cardigan for my taiko club shirt and the pants were perfect for the freedom of movement I needed to play in this performance and match my taiko mates. 

I’m not trying to justify my choice to those who saw me today and might be reading this blog. Like I said, I wasn’t trying to make a statement and I certainly wasn’t trying to draw attention to myself. Due to the wide-legged nature of these pants, unless you’re really paying attention, you might not even realize it wasn’t a skirt. Instead, I’m taking this an opportunity to continue to ponder how I worship and what my Sunday activities mean to me. When I was in Mormon Choir of Washington DC, I left a lot of church meetings early to attend a concert, and today’s activity was really not so different. The content of the music today was less obviously about Jesus, but in the larger sense of playing beautiful folk music and building a community, I think it still counts.

I actually don’t really care what anyone who saw me in pants thought about my choice, nor did I feel particularly self-conscious. I know that Heavenly Father and Jesus want me to attend my church meetings, but they care less about what I wear and more that I come to worship, learn, and serve. I do think that “Sunday best” is a good goal, as it shows respect for Heavenly Father as well as the people around me and myself. For me, that usually means a skirt or dress, but sometimes that means pants. For Blake, that usually means a full suit with jacket and a tie, but sometimes that means his Navy uniform. In the ward he attended in Rhode Island during training, I went with him once and saw some sailors in PT gear (the Navy exercise uniform of shorts and a t-shirt), but they were there, and that’s really what mattered. 

I’ve heard stories, as recently as this week, of someone wearing the “wrong thing” to church and someone else trying to say something to them about it and having it go horribly wrong immediately. I think Heavenly Father would much prefer we just love people we see at our church meetings and everywhere else, and be glad that they have come, and not worry as much about what they are wearing. Presenting ourselves in the best and most appropriate way in our dress also suggests we should present ourselves in the best and most appropriate in our behavior and judging others for their different choices does not do that. I didn’t feel judged today, but I wouldn’t want anyone who attended with me to feel judged either, and choosing to wear pants today gave me an opportunity to reflect on a lot of the whys and hows of attending my Sunday meetings, particularly for myself. Even after attending the same church regularly for more than three decades, it’s good to occasionally reflect on my personal applications of the gospel, even just because I did something as simple as wearing pants. 

I've been thinking about you

I'm a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, also known as the Mormons. When possible on Sundays, I discuss some things related to my faith and what I believe. With respect to your own beliefs, I hope this gives you a chance to get to know me and my religion a little better. For previous installments, click here.

With so much tragedy in the world today, both man-made and acts of God, it's hard to know what you can do to help or change anything. When big tragedies happen, there are frequently opportunities to help by donating time or money to the cause. But, sometimes, because you are nowhere near the tragedy and those affected or don't the time or money to help, the most you can do is offer "thoughts and prayers". Unfortunately, saying "my thoughts and prayers are with you" has become somewhat of a joke, if not entirely misunderstood. Those who don't understand "thoughts and prayers" can be frustrated by its seeming lack of conviction and it can be confused for not doing anything at all. I would like to offer that it is actually doing a lot of good and explain why.

As a religious person who prays as well as donates both time and money charitably, people shouldn't presume we only rely on "thoughts and prayers" to fix what is wrong in the world. Conversely, those of us who pray should not assume those who more visibly contribute time and money don't also meditate or practice some form of mindfulness. Trying to prove who makes more of a contribution to the world is, however, ridiculous. Even though some people can't see a tangible benefit to "thoughts and prayers" doesn't mean those of us who offer them don't. 

Most importantly, "thoughts and prayers" can help give us direction on who to help and how. It's those same thoughts and prayers and mindfulness that help people think of someone to send an applicable job posting to or a funny meme based on something they like.  It's the friends who ask if I need dog food at Costco when they go because I don't have a car and that's a tricky errand on the train. If they never think and/or pray about me, they wouldn't necessarily be inspired to do those things. I personally find it most helpful to pray and do something tangible. With limited time and resources and, therefore, the inability to help everyone, having some guidance on where and how we can help us feel good about what we can actually contribute and that we've made a difference to someone.

Recently, I experienced a medical emergency while Blake was away on assignment. As someone who received promises of thoughts and prayers during that time, I can tell you that at the very least, I appreciated being thought of and that people were taking time out of their days even just to send me a text to ask how I was. It helped me know who I could call when I did need something, especially before Blake was able to come home. I also appreciated people who brought us meals, drove me to the doctor, and the people who stayed with me in the hospital or at home. It was all at least some contribution to my emotional and physical well-being and I'm grateful for it all.

(And now, since you're probably wondering, I'm recovered and Blake got home soon afterwards.)

At least to me, thoughts and prayers are actually a good and meaningful offering, especially backed up with actions, however small they may be

Also helpful? Cute puppies to snuggle when you're home resting.

I spent time at a friend's house on main base in between doctor's appointments one day. They weren't home and Blake was running errands, but Yuri was on duty.

Apparently Yuri isn't usually a snuggler, so his attention was especially sweet.

Hello, it's me

Well, the good news here is that I did better at blogging this year. There is still so much I haven't blogged about, but I have recorded in other ways. I wonder how my great grandkids will access my Instagram account? Or this blog? Oh well. Some record in any format, digital or analog, is better than nothing!

The other good news is that not writing as much as I could have means I have plenty left to write about. Even grocery shopping is an adventure while living in a foreign country, so coming up with 30 adventures worth blogging, past or present, shouldn't be too hard. Because, as you may have guessed by now, it's NaBloPoMo time again!

I've learned a lot this year and done some amazing things. I'll never feel like I've seen or done it all, but as long as we are proactive about living here and experiencing as much as we can, I will feel satisfied that at least we have tried.

So, stay tuned while I recount some of those adventures and lessons! Happy November!

Zushi Beach is the closest beach to our home, about 20 minutes away via train/foot, and this was from an illumination and candle lighting event they held recently. We (heart) Zushi!

Beautiful words of love coming from God above

I'm a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, also known as the Mormons. When possible on Sundays, I discuss some things related to my faith and what I believe. With respect to your own beliefs, I hope this gives you a chance to get to know me and my religion a little better. For previous installments, click here.

According to the eighth Article of Faith:

 8 We believe the Bible to be the word of God as far as it is translated correctly; we also believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God.

Since the Bible as we know it was compiled by a council of people under the direction of a king, rather that a religious leader, we recognize that there may be errors in translation or scriptures that could have been included that were not. It's also gone through revisions and translations since then. Even now, many different denominations use different editions/translations/versions of the Bible.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints uses the King James Bible, as explained by the title page:

Containing the Old and New Testaments Translated out of the Original Tongues: and with the Former Translations Diligently Compared and Revised, by His Majesty’s Special Command  Authorized King James Version  With Explanatory Notes and Cross References to the Standard Works of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

We do believe it to be inspired word of God and are instructed to study it as such. Right now Blake and I are reading the Old Testament together every night. While one of us is traveling, we still use Skype to read together. Since I didn't pack a Bible this last trip, I would have used the scriptures on my phone, but then I was using my phone to Skype. So, I had the idea to grab the Bible left by the Gideons in my room to read with Blake.

Apparently the version they distribute is the New King James Version, copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Here are some of the verses, Deuteronomy 28: 25-29, we read one night in that version:

Here's how they read in ours:

25 The Lord shall cause thee to be smitten before thine enemies: thou shalt go out one way against them, and flee seven ways before them: and shalt be removed into all the kingdoms of the earth. 

 26 And thy carcase shall be meat unto all fowls of the air, and unto the beasts of the earth, and no man shall fray them away. 

 27 The Lord will smite thee with the botch of Egypt, and with the emerods, and with the scab, and with the itch, whereof thou canst not be healed. 

 28 The Lord shall smite thee with madness, and blindness, and astonishment of heart: 

 29 And thou shalt grope at noonday, as the blind gropeth in darkness, and thou shalt not prosper in thy ways: and thou shalt be only oppressed and spoiled evermore, and no man shall save thee.

Basically, the tone of the Gideons' version is a little less formal, more colloquial, possibly even more approachable. It reminded me of when I've read the same verses in English and Spanish. I understand the gist of the verse either way and the spirit of the message is still present.

Ultimately, we still read the scriptures, whichever version, something that's been a daily priority for us since sometime while we were dating. If you want to know more about our scriptures, you can read them online here. You can also request a free copy here.

As always, if I can answer any questions, please ask!

Then I think to myself, what a wonderful world!

I'm a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, also known as the Mormons. When possible on Sundays, I discuss some things related to my faith and what I believe. With respect to your own beliefs, I hope this gives you a chance to get to know me and my religion a little better. For previous installments, click here.

I consider myself an evolutionary creationist. To me, this means that was a Creator of our universe and our world, namely God or Heavenly Father. However, He is also bound by the laws of nature. He did not create something out of nothing, but rather organized matter that already existed into the world in which we now live.

Joseph Smith, the first prophet of the modern church, explained it this way:

“You ask the learned doctors why they say the world was made out of nothing: and they will answer, ‘Doesn’t the Bible say He created the world?’ And they infer, from the word create, that it must have been made out of nothing. Now, the word create came from the word baurau which does not mean to create out of nothing; it means to organize; the same as a man would organize materials and build a ship. Hence, we infer that God had materials to organize the world out of chaos—chaotic matter, which is element, and in which dwells all the glory. Element had an existence from the time he had. The pure principles of element are principles which can never be destroyed; they may be organized and reorganized, but not destroyed. They had no beginning, and can have no end.” (Teachings, pp. 350–52.)

In the October 1975 General Conference, Elder N. Eldon Tanner spoke about how we must follow the laws of nature because "All of this is possible only because through the laws of nature, the Creator keeps creation in its course."

One of those laws is that of evolution. As far as I am concerned, there is no disputing the evidences of evolution, as first put forth by Charles Darwin. Clearly, plants, animals, and even humans have adapted over time to their environment and proven that there is survival of the fittest.

I don't, however, believe we all came out of some primordial soup or have a common ancestor with modern chimpanzees. I believe that God created the world and in that creation, set in motion the ability for all of nature to evolve, grow, and change as necessary to adapt and survive.

I think about that creation every time I am out in nature. This morning, Blake, Malcolm, and I hiked around Sky Meadows State Park to enjoy the colorful autumn foliage and cooler temperatures. The views from the top of these Appalachian foothills were amazing and I, personally, can't believe that these beautiful scenes came out of nothing and just random. Instead, I choose to believe in a Grand Designer who organized this earth for man to live in and enjoy, and I will forever be grateful for this wonderful earth.

Big fluffy clouds as seen on my way to Roanoke

The view from the Piedmont Overlook Trail at Sky Meadows State Park

Treasure, that is what you are

I'm a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, also known as the Mormons. When possible on Sundays, I discuss some things related to my faith and what I believe. With respect to your own beliefs, I hope this gives you a chance to get to know me and my religion a little better. For previous installments, click here.

Sometimes Mormons are referred to as a "peculiar people." You can find many references to the Lord's peculiar people throughout the scriptures. Today, that word usually means "strange or odd." It's somewhat easy why we might be seen as such. We don't drink, take God's name in vain, have sex outside of marriage. We attend church every week, pay tithing, and attend the temple. Just to name a few things that tend to set us apart.

Elder Rodney Turner put it this way in 1972:

 In referring to themselves as a peculiar people, the Latter-day Saints tend to do so with certain theological concepts and religious customs in mind. Such things as the belief in an anthropomorphic deity, the preexistence, work for the dead, temple marriage, and the Word of Wisdom are cited as proof that we are a peculiar people.

That's how I understood the phrase until tonight as I started doing a little research for this post. In a quick poll of the other members of my household, I wasn't the only one. We've been taught that in various church classes for years. But, it turns out, I'm completely wrong, thanks to a misinterpretation of the word using the modern definition.

Elder Russell M. Nelson explains it much better than I could.



So, we're not weird at all. We're treasured.

I like that a lot.

And we're actually pretty normal people. I hope that my non-LDS friends have noticed that about me. A tool that church has come out with in recent years is Mormon.org, where you can find people like yourself and learn about their testimonies of the gospel. You can find stories about people who have tattoos or used to be Hindu or who were raised in the church like I was.

If you're think we're odd, that's okay. I can take it. But, as always, if you have any questions about anything related to the Church, I'm more than happy to answer them!

And so you see, we are a happy family!

fam·i·ly

ˈfam(ə)lē/

noun

1. 1.

   a group consisting of parents and children living together in a household.
2. 2.

   all the descendants of a common ancestor.

   
   

When I was single and living thousands of miles away from my family of origin, I came to an eventual realization that I, just me, was a family. I felt this was especially true when I was living on my own and running my own household. So I had no spouse or children, but the things I was doing with my life and time were for the benefit of my household as it was and as it would/could be in the future.

My life with Blake is the same. We are just two right now, but we are a family. As Meg from A Practical Wedding would call it, we are a baby family.

When I first got married, I realized with startling clarity that I hadn’t just said vows and had a party; I’d created a brand-new family. It was a new family, a baby family, and it needed protecting and tending to. In the earliest years of marriage, we spent a lot of time nurturing that new entity. From: Letter From The Editor: All In The Family

And that's what Blake and I are doing. During our courtship, engagement, and in the ten months and 17 days of our marriage, we are constantly making decisions and doing things to benefit our family as it is now and as we hope it will be. Sometimes those decisions are the obvious and big ones, like what kind of law Blake wants to practice and how we should manage our budget. Sometimes those things are small like what we're going to have for dinner this week or that we like wooden toys that foster imaginative play (even if that means I later buy a puzzle that fits the criteria at a thrift store only to find out our children will not be learning about the letter V if that's all we use to teach them the alphabet).

Each day, we are shaping ourselves and our little baby family to be the kind of entity we want to be. We're deciding our priorities and the things we want for us and for our future children, both the serious and the silly. (e.g. Only the first Land Before Time in our household, thank you very much.)

We're trying to live a purposeful life, and it makes all the difference.

Fist pumps for road trips! (August 2013)

Groove is in the Heart

I lost my mojo. My creativity, my drive, my groove, my stride, my joie de vivre.

When this semester started, I knew that I was going to have more free time than I did last semester. Instead of 9 HARD credits (3 classes), I was taking three easy credits and three hard credits (2 classes). So instead of ALL HOMEWORK ALL THE TIME outside of church/work/gym/classtime, I had some homework and a lot of flexibility for when I did it, which required even more discipline in my free time - something I will always struggle with.

And just as I thought I was hitting my new semester stride, I left for a conference in Dallas (which I still haven't posted about, whoops) which completely derailed my schedule.

Left my own mark at a graffiti covered dive bar in Dallas

Then just as I was getting over that, Daylight Savings Time hit and I was one of many suffering the effects of feeling a little off in my circadian rhythm.

Then my personal life went through a bit of a rollercoaster.

Tree art seen on a run in my neighborhood

Then I had a seasonal allergy attack that gave me a couple of days of wanting to claw my itchy face off and now makes me sound like a cholera patient. At least I'm not itchy anymore.

Despite all of that, I've managed to accomplish everything on my Must Do List. Homework has been completed. I go to work everyday. I'm eating mostly well. Still haven't missed a workout. Even ran a 5K last weekend and set a new PR! I've still been able to do some very enjoyable things, like spend 5 hours replacing the battery in my car or walking out of a Hungarian play that gave all of us some massive ennui.

5K Bib!

Okay, so maybe not enjoyable, but they certainly make for some good stories!

I did get to play Cooties with my 4 year old "nephew" - That was a good night.

But I still haven't really felt any drive. My apartment consistently looks like a tornado hit. I could still clean up my nutritional habits. I could definitely stand to work harder at my job, school, the gym, and in my religious studies, not to mention the zillion other things on the to-do (must and want) of a busy, driven (usually) adult. I knew something was wrong, but I didn't entirely know what or how to fix it or even want to. It was especially driving me crazy because they weather is so nice most of the time! Why the blahs if there is so much warn sunshine and I'm wearing a lovely new dress? In short, I've felt a lot like Buffy.

Surprisingly, as soon as I realized this morning what the problem was, that I was suffering from a severe lack of mojo, I felt it creeping back. Maybe it's just that I can breathe through my nose for the first time in four days, but I think there's more to it. I have a little more energy today, and I'm actually looking forward to getting my dishes done tonight. And working on my research project. And wearing my new sun hat at the lake (I've lived less than .5 miles from a lake for almost three years and can still count on two hands the times I've been down there - I'm fixing that this year). And my jeans that I split this morning? I may never fix because I have some lovely new warm weather dresses and lots of other clothes that fit really well now, and I look better in them than in jeans and a t-shirt any day.

The lake near my apartment at sunset - taken before doing some lakeside yoga

 It's going to be okay. And even if it's not, thanks to @valforrestal, I'll be wearing a tiara whilst doing my chores, and that makes everything better.

You should wear a tiara too! It's fun!

Well still pretty good year

Places I've Spent At Least One Night in 2010 (see 2009, 2008 and 2006-2007)

Where I Live, VA
Alexandria, VA
Somewhere Over the Atlantic
Cairo, Egypt (exotic desert vacation!)
Arlington, VA
Tucson, AZ (more desert vacations!)
Somewhere Over the Big,  Square States in the Middle (red eye flights are lame)
Thurmond, MD (Super Stretch!)
Columbia, MD
Orem, UT (I love my family!)

2010 was, all things considered, a great year.  I've hated the question "So, what have you've been up to?" because it always felt like the the answer was "work, choir, looking for more work" and how boring is that?  But thinking back, I've had some really wonderful and not boring at all times! Is my life perfect and stress-free?  Not in the slightest, but it's still very, very good. I'm learning to be more comfortable in my own skin, building strong relationships, seeking continual self-improvement, magnifying my responsibilities, and learning to love whatever comes my way. Each year seems to get better than the last, so if that trend continues, 2011 is going to rock!

How was your 2010?

Wait! What's your rush? What's your hurry?

Patience is a virtue.

At least that's what they say.

Unfortunately, it seems to be one of the hardest ones to learn, and just when you think you've learned it, you realize you haven't.

I usually have no problem waiting for things when I know it's going to be a short wait and I'm not in a hurry, like today when my laser hair removal was interrupted by an overheated machine or even when I was stuck in Germany for 9 hours longer than I anticipated because I missed my morning flight. I do get a little testy when, say, I'm in traffic and trying to get somewhere that's anywhere other than my car in the middle of a packed freeway, but I try to relax and take advantage of the wait with a car dance party or sing along.

But what about when I have no idea how long I'm going to be waiting and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it?

That's when it gets difficult.

Whether it's something as simple as waiting for the phone to ring or as big as pieces of a life changing puzzle to fall into place, exercising patience obviously not the easiest to do.

The key I've found for myself is to do what I can when I can, and then let the other things happen as they will, and, most importantly, try not to stress about it in the meantime. There are other things I can be doing while I wait.

As Jewel said:

If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we're all OK
And not to worry 'cause worry is wasteful
And useless in times like these
I won't be made useless
I won't be idle with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
For light does the darkness most fear

Easier said than done, of course, but I'm sure going to keep trying!

Somewhere that's green

Some people have a dream house. I just have a dream next apartment.

Don't get me wrong, I really love my current apartment. I need to get it clean again and take you all on a little tour, and I do mean little since it's about 300 sq. ft. based on my mental estimations. As a visual aid, I can vacuum my entire apartment in under 8 minutes from one electrical outlet.

Anywho. This was supposed to be about my next apartment.

The key to my next apartment will be space and sun, two things my current apartment lacks. As much as I love that my bed is my dresser is my storage space and my dining room is my sewing room is my food storage room, I wouldn't mind separating these things a little bit. I look forward to the day that my bedroom is my bedroom is my bedroom with maybe a dresser but very little else.

And sun? Oh how I miss natural light. I've had a basement bedroom for 8.5 of the last 12 years, so I'm used to having very little natural light in my bedroom, but there's always been a sunny spot somewhere else in the house. Now, I don't have any windows in my bedroom/living room, and the tiny windows I do have look out into the window wells and are over my toilet (making the rare times when there is someone in the backyard potentially awkward) and the back of my kitchen and dining room. I'm not totally devoid of natural light, but it hardly does anything to allow me to see and certainly doesn't warm up my space at all.

Space. Sun. I wants them.

I also want a dishwasher, a real oven, and a real stove. This half kitchen thing works, but it's certainly not ideal.

Oh, and a bathtub. I have a standing room only shower with terrible water pressure. No soaking sore muscles after a long day. Washing my long hair is such a chore, and if I use my Big shampoo from LUSH, I usually don't quite get it all rinsed out. One of my favorite parts of any of my travels is getting to use a shower with decent water pressure, which is kind of sad. I can't even remember the last time I had a bubble bath - probably just before I moved to this place. One of my Christmas presents to myself will be a soak in my parents' garden tub. I can't wait.

To sum up, my next apartment, if I can at all help it, will have 2 bedrooms, 1-2 full baths, a full kitchen, and windows. Plenty of windows. I'll use the extra bedroom as a hobby room of sorts - where I can set up my sewing machine, books, musical instruments, whatever.

Someday.

For now, I'm going to get off my futon that is my couch that is my "guest room" that is my secondary shoe storage (underneath) and move the three feet and three steps up to my bed. I haz a sleepy.

Only a cockeyed optimist

I am a glass half full type of person. I choose to look for the best in the everything, and because I look for it, I can usually find it.

Does this mean that I don't get sad or angry and think the day ahead looks bleak sometimes? Of course not. I'm human after all. But just as arguments and anger can spin out of control and pile irrelevantly onto each other, so can joy and compliments and happiness.

For example, my gratitude blog is so much easier when I write it regularly. I start looking for things to be grateful for all day, and I find them. Most days I only write five things, but that doesn't mean I was only grateful for five things.

I make an effort for most of my communication to be positive and uplifting. Yes, I need to vent on occasion, and if you ever bugged my office, you would occasionally hear me blurt out something in frustration. If there is something I don't like that doesn't even really affect me, I don't even do that much. I just let it slide. Why spread the negative? If I am mad enough about something that I feel the need to talk about it with a human instead of my desk monkeys, then of course I do, and I appreciate the people I have in my life to discuss the less than pleasant happenings.

Desk Monkeys!

So, in a world full of ugliness, how do I keep my chin up?

I read at least parts of this morning and night, because it's taped up by my bathroom mirror.

The Optimist Creed
by Christian Larson

Promise Yourself

To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

To think only of the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

I count my blessings.


I do things that make me happy.

And most of all, I just choose it. I choose happiness and optimism and love!

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude."
Maya Angelou

Killing loneliness

I'm a solo librarian, which means I work alone to run this library. I also live alone. Needless to say, I get a LOT of alone time. This is great, because I'm an introvert and I like that kind of thing. But there is such a thing, even for me, of too much alone time.

Remember all the snow where I was stuck inside my house for DAYS on two separate occasions this last winter? Yeah, I was ready to start hanging upside on my furniture I was so tired of being cooped up and away from people.

One of the benefits of living by my lonesome is that I get to choose the amount of social interaction I partake in, so on days I'm feeling socially off, I don't have to wonder who is going to be in my house.

One of the downsides is that when I do want social time and to see friends, I don't automatically have one around and I don't always have the success I'd like of getting together with the people I don't live with.

That's when I get lonely.

I can get discouraged easily when seemingly everyone and their dog says they have something else going on. If I'm discouraged and disheartened by my social situation, I find myself even more willing to just go somewhere by myself, or stay in and watch Netflix. I like myself, and I don't ever bail on me.

The key, I've learned, is not to give up when I don't have someone readily available and willing to spend time with me. Sometimes, I have to rack my brain to think of others who might even be remotely interested in getting together AND available at the same time.

But, as I remind myself, I do have friends, and many people I don't yet know well who might want to be friends.

William Butler Yeats said, "There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven't yet met."

I just have to reach out and be a friend to find a friend. "I went out to find a friend and could not find one there. I went out to be a friend, and friends were everywhere."

Easier said than done sometimes, but the rewards can be eternal!