Nothing was different, but nothing would ever be the same

I'm a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, also known as the Mormons. When possible on Sundays, I discuss some things related to my faith and what I believe. With respect to your own beliefs, I hope this gives you a chance to get to know me and my religion a little better. For previous installments, click here.

Last week I spoke of loss, largely of parental loss, and that I believe in life before and after this one. This is the story of the most profound loss I have yet experienced in my own life.

I confirmed that I was pregnant late on a Wednesday afternoon in late August 2017, about ten minutes before Blake was due to be home for the day. I was fairly confident, based on certain symptoms that I now know for sure are my personal early pregnancy signs, but a quick home test and I knew. I'd been antsy about it all day, but I didn't want to know too much sooner than he did. When he got home, I gave him a super cute little "Made in Japan" onesie I'd rather hopefully commissioned a few weeks or months prior and we were both very excited. We got hospital confirmation by Friday of that week.

We told family that weekend, because Blake would be leaving soon for another temporary assignment and we wanted the familial support during that time. We told a few local friends and Blake's chain of command for the same reason. And because we just couldn't contain the happy news for long!

As is often the case with the Navy, Blake's assignment changed. He was supposed to be flying out to the carrier, the USS REAGAN, but instead he was tasked to help with the USS MCCAIN investigation down in Singapore and left right after Labor Day, with an undetermined return date. I didn't get to visit him, because of Zika, but I had my first prenatal appointment and busied myself with good things, as I do while he's away.

Three weeks later, Blake came home for 19 hours! Hooray! He got home Saturday night and was gone again by late Sunday afternoon, this time definitely for the Reagan with another undetermined return date. We'd been looking forward to him getting some experience at sea, and he was stoked about landing on an aircraft carrier!

Taken during the short window we got to be together

Malcolm tries to remind Blake to take him too by laying in the middle of his re-packing

I was feeling a little ill the Sunday afternoon he was home. I'd been having some mild spotting almost daily for the previous month, but everything I read indicated it wasn't anything to worry about, so I was trying not to. By Monday morning, just before he was supposed to take off on his flight to the ship, the spotting and the feeling ill had increased, but OB said not to worry yet but to keep an eye on it. So, I told Blake to get on his flight and we'd be okay.

Naturally, I worried and kept close eye on things all day. I was taking a pottery class on base on Monday evenings, so I headed down. I was running late, and our dear friend (and Blake's immediate report in his chain of command) was leaving work late, which is unlike both of us, but it gave us a chance to run into each other and to talk. I think we were supposed to run into each other. I told her what was going on and she said that if anything more happened, anytime, to call her. I promised I would.

Pottery class was an hour long. OB had said that if bleeding increased enough to soak a pad in an hour to go immediately to the ER. I checked right after class and, sure enough, it was time to go. It was a blessing that I was already on main base, where the hospital was, and my instructor was kind enough to drive me to the hospital while I called Kate and stayed with me until Kate could arrive. I also called my upstairs neighbor, Jen, to update her and asked her to check in on Malcolm for me.

The ER wasn't very busy that night, so I was taken straight back. The next few hours was a lot of waiting, exams, tests, and worry. It couldn't be confirmed immediately that I was miscarrying, but I was told the baby was measuring small for the 9 weeks and 6 days they should have been and we were also checking that it wasn't ectopic or anything else.

Somewhere in that, Blake finally messaged me to let me know that he was safely on the ship and had started getting settled in. I had to respond that I was in the ER. He found a phone on the ship and called me immediately. I updated him as much as I could. He started offering to see if he could get back off the ship and home and I was about to tell him "No, you're already there, I'll be fine.", but I was taken to an ultrasound in the radiology department before I got a chance. I laid alone, scared, and crying while the tech, who had been called in from home, silently did their job. By the time I got back, maybe 30 minutes later, Kate had updated our commanding officer (CO) and Blake had updated his chain on the ship and the commands had already decided, without Blake asking, to send him home as soon as possible. Unfortunately, that wouldn't be until next day, but it would ultimately be better than either of us being alone. We talked a couple more times throughout the evening and the doctor came by during at least one phone call so they were able talk too.

Somewhere in the 9pm hour, I finally called Summer (who I do the school musicals and many other things with) to let her know that I wouldn't be at rehearsal the next day and why. She immediately offered words of comfort and asked if I would like her to send Ben to give me a blessing. We believe that through the power of the priesthood, blessings can be given for illness and comfort and through our faith we can be healed, if that is the will of Heavenly Father. It can be hard to ask for help, of any kind, but after running to Kate as I had earlier and the pottery instructor offering to drive and this offer of a blessing, I was getting practice in taking people up on things as fast as I could. I knew I couldn't do it alone. Ben recruited another man from church to help and arrived about 20-30 minutes later. Kate, a woman of faith in her own way, had also prayed for and with me while we were waiting.

Finally, around 11pm, I was discharged. We still didn't know for sure yet, but it was most likely that I was experiencing a miscarriage. I was told to keep an eye on the pain (which had started setting in while in the ER) and the bleeding and sent home. Our CO, who lived very close to the hospital, had offered his car to Kate, since neither of us had one, so she could drive me home. I called my parents and Blake's to let them know what was happening. I also had to call Jen again, the aforementioned upstairs neighbor, because I was completely out of toilet paper. I had planned to pick some up on my home, if things had gone according to plan.

Eventually, I got to bed and woke up feeling sad and scared on Tuesday morning. I was still bleeding some and the pain was mild, and my outlook was not good. I walked Malcolm and probably tried to eat breakfast and go about my day. But, by late morning, the pain came on so suddenly and so intensely that I was vomiting and shaking on the bathroom floor. I called Jen again and asked for a ride back to the ER. When I was waiting for Jen by the front door of our building, I saw another friend from church and told her what was happening.

I later identified that the pain was probably labor pains, which my body was not ready for. It came in waves every several minutes and was the most intense and painful I could ever remember. Jen helped me breathe and work through them until I was able to get some medication. There were more tests and exams and finally the official confirmation - my HCG (the pregnancy hormone) levels were 50% what they were the day before. I was, in fact, having a miscarriage. Once again, Blake called to tell me that he in was back in Japan and awaiting a flight back home, and I had to, once again, tell him I was in the ER. I also told Kate at some point that I was back in the hospital and when she tried to check on me and I didn't respond right away, she came over from her office in the building next door and relieved Jen. Eventually, and I can't remember how she found out - probably related the church friend I'd seen earlier, my friend Crystal came shortly after I was discharged and waiting at the pharmacy and relieved Kate.

This time, Crystal took me home. We stopped for a smoothie (because I was hungry but had no energy or desire to actually eat), which she kindly went in for while I hid in the car. Once we got home, I took Malcolm out and then Crystal and I both took up residence on the couch. We talked a little, but mostly just watched The Great British Baking Show while I laid down. Crystal admitted it was probably the most tv she'd watched in years, but I was grateful for her company. At some point, I actually heated up some dinner for both of us because I was feeling up to it and because it was easier than trying to tell her where everything was.

Eventually, Crystal started falling asleep on the couch. By this time, Jen had picked up Blake from the airport so I knew I'd only be alone for an hour or so, and sent Crystal home.

Blake was given the rest of the week to be with me as much as needed. He had to do a little work stuff here and there, but mostly we were just able to be together. Wednesday morning, the fetal tissue passed. Thursday, we got a ride from yet another friend back to the base so I could some follow up lab work and see the OB. It was supposed to be my 10 week appointment, but instead to it was to make sure everything was progressing as it should in a different kind of way so I wouldn't have to have a d&c. We had a couple hours to wait in between the lab and the OB, so while Blake ran errands like groceries, I rested at a friend's apartment, even though they weren't home. Their cat took care of me instead, which I referenced vaguely last year. 

Throughout the week, we had a few visitors, meals were dropped off, and many people called or texted to check in. Because Blake was gone to the ship and then suddenly back and then there were all the people we had already drawn on for assistance, so we knew we weren't going to be able to not tell people, and we really didn't mind that word was getting around. It was easier than telling people ourselves. I can't say that I'm ever happy to talk to about it, but I'm comfortable talking about it and willing to, when the time is right.

Saturday we went out to a light movie on base, just to get out of the house. But on Sunday, I wasn't up to the social and fellowshipping part of church. I did, however, really want to partake of the Sacrament (much like communion, but with bread and water instead of wafers and wine), which we believe is a renewal of our baptismal covenants and chance to realign ourselves with God's will every week. I also knew I was in great need of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, which we believe covers all struggles and ailments - not just sin and death. So, we showed up to church just as services started, stayed until the Sacrament had been passed, and then quietly left.

Monday, Blake went back to work and I went back to rehearsal and we tried to get back to normal life. Except, like the song lyric that I chose for this post, nothing was different, but nothing would ever be the same. It was the most intense grieving process I have ever experienced, and I was retrospectively sad for all the friends and family I've had who have had a similar loss. It's not a club you fully understand until you do. I felt broken and devastated and lost. And, admittedly, I sometimes felt relieved. I was (and still am) terrified about being a parent. Even though I was (and still am) mostly excited about the prospect, I was also okay with waiting a little longer, but then I'd feel guilty about that. It's an incredible roller coaster of emotions and a cycle I've been dealing with ever since.

Eventually, we did mostly get back to normal. There were probably even some days I didn't think about the loss at all, but most days it at least crossed my mind. And, as most people know, just over a year later, we are having better success this time around and have officially been told that the chance of miscarriage in this pregnancy is less than 1%.

I don't know why this baby didn't get to stay with us, and I don't know for sure what will happen in regards to this specific loss in the future. We have beliefs and doctrine about what happens to children after they are born, but nothing specific about before. Just hope, and I can live with that.

If you've ever experienced this kind of loss, you are not alone. I am here and we can talk, or not talk, or whatever you need. 20-25% of pregnancies end in loss, so it's a much bigger club than any of us would ever hope. Our generation is much better talking about it than those before us, but it's still not easy, nor will it ever be. I know I'm changed forever because of this, but I am grateful for the family, friends, and especially Blake, Heavenly Father, and Jesus Christ who made sure I didn't have to do this alone. 

Remember me, though I have to say goodbye

I'm a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, also known as the Mormons. When possible on Sundays, I discuss some things related to my faith and what I believe. With respect to your own beliefs, I hope this gives you a chance to get to know me and my religion a little better. For previous installments, click here.

I am pleased to say that on Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, after our (mis)adventure in Kamakura, I spent some time learning about indexing through familysearch.org, per my goal to find a way to keep my sights on the temple even when I can't attend. I did the tutorial and then indexed my first batch - a page from the US, New York, New York - Death Index, 1880-1956. I've done a lot of data entry in my career as a librarian and this program is set up to be really user friendly, so it was all pretty easy to figure out.

Even though it wasn't my own family history I was working on, I imagined that I was being helpful to someone out there. This index had death dates and cities, as well as the death certificate number, which if they could use that to find the actual death certificate they would probably find even more information. OCR (optical character recognition) has come a long way, so it's possible just having a photo of this index would be useful, but an indexed page even more so.  The batch I worked on didn't take long, and I definitely anticipate doing more!

On Saturday, with this project on my mind, Blake and I went to see the latest Pixar film - Coco - a story about a Mexican boy who learns a lot about his family on the Day of the Dead, even traveling to the Land of the Dead. So many elements of the story - multi-generational family, music, deteriorating mental health in old age, healing, honoring family who have passed, second chances (even after death) - were woven in such a beautiful way that I was crying by the end, even with parts that were relatively predictable. I think it's right there with Up for my favorite Pixar film, and even already one of my favorite movies ever. It's so well done!

And then, this morning, while it was Saturday evening back at home, I was able to FaceTime with my grandmother at the start of the party they were having for her 80th birthday. After I talked to her, my dad took me around the party to say hi to a few people and see some of the amazing quilts that my grandmother had made (not an exhaustive collection, if only because I have a few here in Japan) as well as the top of one that my mother had made for her out of squares she had commissioned from the family. They had it set up at the party so everyone could work on the actual quilting of it. My dad promised to sew a stitch for me.

Many people made their own quilt squares, but due to distance/time/skill, I just designed one, ordered the fabric, and commissioned it from my mother. It's the pink and green crossword puzzle one shown here. The green fabric has thimbles on it - Grandma collects them and I've helped a lot on all my travels - and she and Grandpa (while he was alive) loved doing crossword puzzles. It was helping them on one that earned me one of their nicknames for me.

Even being 7000 miles away from my family of origin, I've had a lot of opportunity to think about them and connect with them these last few days. I'm so glad to know where I come from and find ways to relate to the experiences of those who have come before me. Hopefully, I can get back into the habit of family history research and keep finding out even more!

Oboeyou Nihongo (GO!) Nihongo（GO!）

My mom and all of her siblings served Spanish-speaking missions for the LDS church. My aunt married a man she met on her mission in the Dominican Republic. Between the family connections and growing up in Texas and Utah, and it made sense to start learning Spanish in school, which I started doing in 7th grade. I advanced to Spanish AP by junior year in high school and passed the AP test at the end of the year. I loved learning a new language and culture. With one year left in high school, I wanted to start learning a new language. My school also offered German (which didn't appeal to me), French (seemed to similar to Spanish to interest me), and Japanese. I also had the opportunity to apply for a Sterling Scholar award as a senior, and I thought my best shot would be in Foreign Languages. Committees look favorably on multi-lingual applicants, and I knew Japanese was different enough from Spanish to be interesting to me and look good on my award application (and future college applications).

So, for my senior year of high school, I took Japanese I and absolutely loved it - the language, culture, food, and everything. I did well in the class (until I got to learning katakana and was suffering from senioritis) and won the school level Foreign Language Sterling Scholar award. (It goes on to region and state level, but my Japanese wasn't good enough for that, which was totally fine.) I was amused that I would come out of class thinking in Spanish, but I still managed to retain some Japanese. 

It was because of this class that when the Navy said we were moving to Japan that I was thrilled! Unfortunately, not having practiced it for more than a decade, I had lost a lot of it. I could remember how to pronounce it, a handful of vocabulary and grammar, and a little bit of hiragana. I started reviewing it before our move, but it wasn't until we arrived here that I really started diving in. 

Now, I'm using Mango Languages through my library in Virginia. I do a lesson every day, and I participated in their 31 Days of Language challenge in January for extra enrichment. Of course, I'm practicing any time I'm out in town, listening to train announcements, conversing when I can, and reviewing hiragana on signs. I also recently took a 10 week course through our Fleet and Family Services office with classes held once a week. I also just ordered a few new workbooks, but I haven't started them yet. All of these methods have their strengths and weaknesses, but, for me, they're working very well together and I'm able to use things I have learned from all of them.

I'm happy to say that it's getting better everyday! I'm gaining vocabulary and grammar and, most importantly, confidence. I love knowing what's going on around me and solving language mysteries. Sometimes it's nice to not know what's going on - it's hard to get overwhelmed with information overload if you can't read or hear the language. That is still possible, since I can't understand everything, but when I can understand, it's a win! I sound a little bit like a primary school kid when I try to read and sound things out, but it's progress! For example, I may not understand what time it is when a train is announced, but at least I know it's a time!

Recently, we had a regional conference for church and everything was translated into both languages. The meetings were wonderful, of course, but I spent a lot of time listening to the language. If the talk or announcement was in Japanese first, then I tested myself. I also tried to sing the hymns in Japanese by reading the hiragana in the hymnbook. I also learned that the construction for words like "Nephite" - Nefijin - is the same as the word for American - Amerikajin. Basically, people of _______. Makes sense!

A few things are just automatic now - Good morning (ohayo gozaimasu), Thank you (arigatou gozaimasu), Excuse me (sumimasen). I'll even say "Sumimasen" on base or to an American. It's just what comes out now.

My new goal, as of yesterday, is to be able to read this book that I found wandering through a honya (bookstore). It's about pandas going to an onsen (a Japanese public bath using natural hot springs) and I about died when I started peeking through the pages and landed on the one below.

Of course, I bought it. It will be awhile, if ever, that I can read novels in Japanese, but I should be able to handle picture books!

My biggest win recently was ordering dessert on Monday for a Relief Society (women's ministry) dinner on Tuesday. I went to a cream puff shop that I just found and asked if they spoke English. They said no in the Japanese way (by saying "Uhhh" and looking concerned, not by directly saying "no"). And then, using Google Translate, I asked if I could order 40 in advance. They said yes and the rest of the conversation happened with the vocabulary I knew!

"Yonjyu. Ashita. Gojihan?"  "40? Tomorrow? 5:30?"

And then she wrote down the order and 17:30. And I said "Onamae - Amanda" "Name - Amanda"

So it wasn't complete sentences, but it worked! I went back yesterday and they were ready for me, as arranged. 

And they were delicious. I had the chocolate one - it was cookies and cream filled! 

The lyric title comes from this amusing video that I understand better every time I watch it, and it's just adorable.  Maybe soon I'll be able to understand all of it!

The key for me is just to keep practicing and, eventually, when my brain starts searching for a word in Japanese, maybe it won't give me the Spanish one first. It's nice to know I haven't totally lost my Spanish yet though!

Oh give me a home

If you are assigned to the Navy base in Yokosuka, you must live on base, provided there is housing available based on your rank, family size, and pet owner status. If nothing matches, then you have to live off base. Either way, the Navy pays for your housing, which is a really nice perk.

We watched just about all of the videos on YouTube about our base, including the housing options, but there was just no way of knowing what we would ultimately end up with until we went to the housing office and found out what was available to us on that particular day. That, for us, was our second Monday in Japan. 

Of course, we had preferences, and we discussed what we might do if we were given options. In the end, our option was a three bedroom first floor apartment in the housing detachment and move in within a few days or forfeit our housing benefit and pay out of pocket to live off base and spend the next week or more house hunting. 

3br tower unit in Yokosuka

Well, that was a no brainer. So, on Thursday of that week, without having seen the place beforehand, we moved into the Ikego housing detachment, about 6 miles/10 kilometers from main base. Originally, we had not wanted Ikego at all during all the hypotheticals we discussed before our housing brief, because of its distance from main with far more amenities and where Blake would need to go to work each day, especially since we wanted to remain car free. Instead, we were surprised by how quickly we fell in love with our new home and neighborhood!

So much better than the kitchen I had in my hobbit hole before I got married!

The leaves are starting to change now, and it's gorgeous!

There are sufficient American amenities in Ikego, a former Japanese ammunition depot,  to survive - a mini-mart, post office, gym (which we just tried out for the first time this morning and liked!), elementary school and child care centers (not that we will need either yet, but good to know), restaurant, pizza that delivers, Fleet and Family Support Center, salon (somewhere. . .), self-help center (where to go if you need to borrow tools you don't have), athletic fields, skate park, and swimming pool all within a 5-10 minute walk. The group exercise classes are in the multipurpose room of our building, so a 30 second walk away. We definitely like the dog park, and are looking forward to checking out the campgrounds and hiking trails that are just outside the gate.

Master bath

My favorite thing is there is a train station and base gate within 5-7 minutes from our door! If we lived on main base, it would easily take 20-30 minutes to get from our home to get off base and then to one of the two train stations there. Instead of being within walking distance to a busy shopping district and a few malls, we are walking distance to smaller stores and a beach! Yes, the commute to work for Blake everyday and for me to main base whenever is a little longer than we hoped, but not bad. For now, Blake takes the free shuttle in the morning and the train back in the evening, which gets him home an hour earlier than the shuttle home. 

Spare bedroom

Master bedroom, with its own balcony - thinking of turning it into a yoga space in the spring

We have quadrupled our closet space, gained a bedroom, and added about 300-500 square feet from what we had in DC. We even have two patios! Do I know what we're going to do with all this spare space? Nope! But we will figure it out, and it's okay if some of it remains empty for awhile. We did already purchase a brand new sofa that no one else has ever owned, which I feel is a very important step to adulthood. I also look forward to many baths in the rather sizable tub! Blake already found some aromatic epsom salts, because I had a nasty cold the whole week of moving in. Nothing quite kills your enthusiasm for finally moving into a new home like being sick for the first few days, but I got better and now I'm excited!

All the white on white is a little sterile for my taste, but I'm going to enjoy my semi-retirement by decorating. We've already got our eyes on a couple of rugs at the home store on main base, unless Malcolm carpets the floor with all his shedding first, though we have also already purchased a new broom and our Swiffer and mop came with our express shipment last week. If this place is going to be ours for three full years, I definitely want it to feel like home. Amazingly, just unpacking a few more things in our express shipment of unaccompanied baggage last Friday moved that home feeling up a few notches immediately! So far, the main bathroom is the most "finished" room, mostly because we're still waiting on the bulk of our household goods, but I'm sure this place will come together soon!

There's no place I'd rather be

Bright and early Monday morning, our first full day in Japan, we reported for the Area Orientation Brief class, or AOB. It's 8 hours a day for a full 5 days of information to, well, orient you with the area!

On one hand, it's a very useful class. It's good to know about all the resources available to sailors and their families, the dos and don'ts on and off base, and more. 

On the other hand, it's a LOT of information at once. Death by Powerpoint is a real thing, y'all, especially when it's your first day/week and you're wildly overwhelmed by the newness of everything, not just all the information being given to you. For some who have lived on or near robust military bases before, some of it's not new information, but it was pretty much all new to me and I did my best to keep up. Fortunately, there are a lot of handouts, it's not uncommon to take pictures of slides when needed, and Blake was there with me. I may not have retained a lot of the information immediately, but I've since referred back to things or heard something again and been able to process it that time. 

The biggest lesson I got out of it was that we have a lot of resources on this base to support the sailors and families, as well as a lot of things to do on and off base. There's always help to be found and if you're bored around here, it is your own fault.

After that first day, jet lag was hitting me hard. Our sponsor picked us up and offered to show us a little around base, which I agreed to, and he dropped us off at the cell phone store. By this point, I had the foggiest brain I can ever remember having and I was barely functioning. Somehow, we still managed to get new Japanese phones and even an iPad, because they were on a crazy good deal of a promotion. It's all a little pricier than our plans in the States, but not bad.

Back in the Lodge, we took care of Malcolm and got dinner at the Chili's next door. There's not a huge variety of American food on base, but it covers a lot of the major fast/convenient cuisines. Pet-friendly rooms here only have a microwave, so we ate a fair amount of frozen dinners and peanut butter sandwiches for a little while. The Lodge did provide breakfast every morning. We had been given a welcome basket from Blake's ward room, so did have some other snacks and goodies to supplement.

Tuesday was more classes about on base resources and the like, but Wednesday started our cultural indoctrination classes. We started learning about the Japanese language, culture, food, money, and so on. Much at this point was a review for me, having taken Japanese several years back, but the review was very much appreciated. 

Thursday, we finally got off base and went on our first field trip! The instructors escorted us to one of the two train stations that are close to main base (two different lines), helped us purchase train cards, and then we rode the train to Kamakura. It's an adorable little town that was once the de facto capital of Japan during the Kamakura period. It's a fairly popular day trip tourist location for visitors to Tokyo.  

First, we set free to find lunch. We'd been given a little instruction on dining in Japan, so we felt somewhat prepared. After some wandering (including discovering a children only restaurant!), we found a yakiniku place that ended up being delicious. Yakiniku is where you grill your own meat at your table, and we loved it. This particular place had traditional Japanese tables where you remove your shoes and sit on the floor, but we were seated on the Western side of things. A very successful first dining experience in our new country.

Then, we regrouped and were taken on a little walking tour that led us to the Tsurugaoka Hachimangu Shrine, the most important in Kamakura. We were shown around the grounds and had various aspects explained to us, which I appreciated. It's a beautiful shrine and I love learning about other religions. (It's a shame I so frequently fell asleep during my world religions class at BYU, but it was at 8am and in the dark and I refer you to my earlier comments about Powerpoints.)

Walking through a torii gate on your way into a shrine is believed to purify your soul.

As a final test, we were on our own to make our way back to base. This gave us time to stop and get ice cream - purple sweet potato for me and white peach and soda swirl for Blake. Of the three flavors, white peach was my favorite. We've also found white peach Fanta since then, and it's very good. It was a really lovely first off base excursion! 

A cast member had given me some fish pastries as a thank you, which I didn't understand as a choice. Apparently fresh cooked fish pastries, filled with various things, are a very tasty street food in Japan! My friend had just found them at a Korean bakery and didn't realize the significance either! We tried custard and caramel.

The warm October weather definitely called for ice cream. 

Kamakura!

It made me feel excited, well, excited and scared

Even though I had almost five months notice about moving to Japan, almost four of which I spent as a semi-retired person, I still spent the last week before leaving running around like a chicken with my head cut off.

Truthfully, a lot of it really did have to wait until the last minute. For example, I couldn't sort things to move via suitcase, express shipment, or slow boat until a few days out, because I needed the things that I wanted to ship faster. We did clean out several boxes and things throughout the summer, but there was still some left at the end. We also didn't even get our official date for leaving until about 10 days before we left, so there really wasn't anything I could do about a lot of it until those last few days, like cancel our cable or book a hotel.

The last donation pile. Once I added the food I wouldn't be taking, this pile close to doubled.

So I started a to-do list. At first, I broke it down into categories; I had a call sheet and a list of things I could do online. Then, sitting in church that last Sunday, I started breaking it down by day, putting certain errands or activities together that made sense, making sure to write down appointments or other things scheduled events.

Now, I realize this is what a lot of people do. I frequently have some version of a to do list, but it's usually in my head. One does not run a library on their own without some sort of to do list. It's not uncommon for me to write it down, but it just depends on how much there is to do and how well I'm keeping up with things. I definitely keep a calendar of scheduled events, but it doesn't always include tasks. This is totally fine - you gotta do what works for you.

In fact, here are some funny webcomics about to do lists (Wondermark Part 1, Part 2, Part 3. Invisible Bread) and a great article from Art of Manliness about The Power of Checklists.

And this worked for me for that crazy week.

Most gratefully, Blake came home for that long weekend. We managed to find some time to just hang out, but I also put him to work and we accomplished a lot. In fact, I don't think I could have done it without him. I also had other friends help when I needed them, and even the missionaries came over for 30 minutes and helped me take things off my walls.

Sunday evening, we took some time to meet friends at a park near our home for a final sayonara! It was a bittersweet end to our chapter together in DC, but we are so glad to have found wonderful friends there and look forward to maintaining those relationships in other ways now.

Here is how the schedule broke down:

This day actually ended up look a bit different from this, like going to the vet twice and then going again on Thursday, but I tried.

At this point, I added things I probably would have remembered, but you can't be too sure, like eat breakfast.

Watching the movers pack all our things was strange. Malcolm was at day care, so I just sat and watched the movers. I ran around crazy before they arrived to get Malcolm squared away and get everything laundered, and then sat around for several hours. Then I ran around crazy picking Malcolm back up and hauling everything to a hotel - even had to borrow a friend's van large enough to carry Malcolm's travel crate. Malcolm got dropped off a minute after the day care center opened and picked up a minute before they would have charged me for overnight boarding. I hope he had a good time!

Thursday, I sold my car, which was a bit emotional. I had purchased it brand new eight years earlier and was parting with it much sooner than I anticipated. We had some good rides together, and I hope it's making someone else very happy soon.

I also dyed my hair brown, since dress code on our base requires natural hair colors. Maybe I'll get to go blue again one day.

Friday, I chilled as much as possible because everything else was done. My licensed massage therapist friend gave me a much needed massage as a farewell gift and I picked Blake up from the airport. Miraculously, we were both able to sleep that night, because this is the part of our story where we travel for 20 hours and start life in a new country! Stay tuned!

I am I, Don Quixote, the lord of La Mancha!

Knowing Blake was going to be gone for 10 weeks, I was semi-retired, and I really missed doing theatre, I figured that doing a fall show at a nearby community theater would help me pass the time and be a great deal of fun. So, mid-summer, I started looking around at what was coming up. I started with the organizations closest to me and discovered that The Arlington Players would be doing Man of La Mancha at exactly the right time. I scrolled through their audition notice and then looked at the production staff, which seemed to have a number of vacancies, including choreographer. I knew it wouldn't hurt to volunteer my services, because if they didn't need me, I could still audition. I really do love both performing and choreographing, so I'd be happy either way.

They quickly responded to my email and I soon met with the producer and director and we all hit it off immediately! This project was a go! Sure, I'd miss being on stage in the actual performances, but to be part of the creative process would be such a joy. Plus, I wouldn't have to risk auditioning and not actually getting cast. 

It really was the perfect way to spend time while Blake was away. I could use my day time to plan choreography, get ready for Japan, and do all the other things I needed to do, and then spend my evenings in the rehearsal hall. We started rehearsals a week before Blake left and the last performance was a week before we moved, exactly the time frame I needed.

The Impossible Dream

It's not a dance heavy show, but I still made it to most of the rehearsals and the director and I worked really well together on several moments throughout. I'd tweak blocking and movement and she'd add layers of character to my choreography. It was a beautiful process and I'm so glad to have been a part of it! 

Golden Helmet of Mambrino

Ultimately, it breaks both of our hearts that we met such a short time before I had to leave. I really hope we can find a way to work together again. We also hung out several times outside of rehearsals, whether joining me in binge watching The West Wing or eating dollar tacos.

Choreographer and Director on opening night!

Blake couldn't attend opening weekend, but he did send me flowers to congratulate me. He was able to get permission to visit over Columbus Day weekend, so we got to attend closing night together. The oldest two Heiss girls came with me to opening night instead, which was pretty cool. 

I have a very sweet husband, who knows how to celebrate someone on stage, having grown up with a violinist for a sister.

I felt a like a mermaid, and many of my cast agreed!

The second weekend of the show, one of our actors had a work commitment for one performance. We cast her anyway, and I acted as her understudy, so I got to perform after all! In our staging, everyone was on stage pretty much the whole show, so even though I had the fewest lines of anyone to memorize, it was a bit of work to remember her entire blocking track. It worked out though, even if I lost a prop that went rolling under our set right before I needed it, and I had a few friends in the audience to cheer me on.

The innkeeper's less kindly sister

I'm not entirely sure what opportunities I'll have in Japan to exercise my musical and theatrical crafts, but La Mancha was a fantastic way to end my theatrical time in DC.

Flamenco for I, Don Quixote! also become part of the pre-show.

Summer lovin', had me a blast!

With my last day at work being in June and Blake having liberty from training until August, we enjoyed seven amazing weeks off together this summer. We spent a lot of time at home relaxing, sorting through our stuff, and just hanging out, but we also worked on our DC bucket list - everything we wanted to do before we left, possibly for good. Even though I'd been in DC for ten years and Blake for five, there was still a pretty good list of things remaining, or that we wanted to do again.

At the National Bureau of Printing & Engraving, how tall are you in dollars?

National Bureau of Printing & Engraving. We also went to the National Postal Museum that day apparently did not take any pictures.

Uncle Slam! I didn't know he was doing a #1 sign.  Oops!

For the third year running, I sang the National Anthem for a Potomac Nationals game, the local minor league team. This year, without even auditioning, they offered me Memorial Day, my birthday, or two other dates of less consequence. I chose Memorial Day. That afternoon, they also emailed me and asked if I'd sing "God Bless America" during the 7th inning stretch. Of course! And then as I was on deck for that, they asked if I was going to sing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" too. Sure! The links are to my videos from that night.

We only had time for one camping trip this year, to Lake Anna State Park, but we made it worth it, including foil dinner pizzas (Blake's idea).

This is a peppermint Joe-Joe s'more. 

We also tried this with Peeps. It was a lot of sugar.

Malcolm warmed up our bed.

And once the bugs started bugging us, we took our games inside.

The Twilight Tattoo at Fort Myer-Henderson was not what we expected, but in a good way!

I directed the ward roadshow, and Blake happily played our villain.

We ran our sixth mud run, our second Ice Cream Race!

Friends visiting from Pennsylvania were a good excuse to work on our dining bucket list. This time was Good Stuff Eatery. 

We looked at the Sun in the middle of the day.

Found a new dog park for Malcolm

Watched our last DC 4th of July fireworks - The ducks that were swimming by when they started were none too pleased and it was highly amusing to watch them sharply turn, as a big group, and swim toward our shore. "Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope."

Refinished a hutch we bought while we were engaged.

Flower Library! We took a morning walk around the monuments to facilitate picking up tickets for going to the top of the Washington Monument at sunset later that night. The evening was beautiful too, but we're not sure where our photos went, so I'll just have to keep those in my heart.

Vintage Game Night at Woodrow Wilson's house! A friend from college, in the floral on the left, and I got to see each other a few times again this summer, and this is one of those times. 

NRA Firearms Museum

I dyed my hair blue! I'd wanted to for a long time, and being semi-retired was the perfect time!

And blue hair is a great excuse for dressing up as Tonks at a Harry Potter and the Cursed Child release party, where I won third place in the costume contest.

And of course we visited the newest panda baby, Bei-Bei, who was enjoying snuggles with his mom.

We managed to hit a lot of new and old favorites. I miss DC a lot, but we did a great job of bidding it farewell.