Nothing was different, but nothing would ever be the same

I'm a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, also known as the Mormons. When possible on Sundays, I discuss some things related to my faith and what I believe. With respect to your own beliefs, I hope this gives you a chance to get to know me and my religion a little better. For previous installments, click here.

Last week I spoke of loss, largely of parental loss, and that I believe in life before and after this one. This is the story of the most profound loss I have yet experienced in my own life.

I confirmed that I was pregnant late on a Wednesday afternoon in late August 2017, about ten minutes before Blake was due to be home for the day. I was fairly confident, based on certain symptoms that I now know for sure are my personal early pregnancy signs, but a quick home test and I knew. I'd been antsy about it all day, but I didn't want to know too much sooner than he did. When he got home, I gave him a super cute little "Made in Japan" onesie I'd rather hopefully commissioned a few weeks or months prior and we were both very excited. We got hospital confirmation by Friday of that week.

We told family that weekend, because Blake would be leaving soon for another temporary assignment and we wanted the familial support during that time. We told a few local friends and Blake's chain of command for the same reason. And because we just couldn't contain the happy news for long!

As is often the case with the Navy, Blake's assignment changed. He was supposed to be flying out to the carrier, the USS REAGAN, but instead he was tasked to help with the USS MCCAIN investigation down in Singapore and left right after Labor Day, with an undetermined return date. I didn't get to visit him, because of Zika, but I had my first prenatal appointment and busied myself with good things, as I do while he's away.

Three weeks later, Blake came home for 19 hours! Hooray! He got home Saturday night and was gone again by late Sunday afternoon, this time definitely for the Reagan with another undetermined return date. We'd been looking forward to him getting some experience at sea, and he was stoked about landing on an aircraft carrier!

Taken during the short window we got to be together

Malcolm tries to remind Blake to take him too by laying in the middle of his re-packing

I was feeling a little ill the Sunday afternoon he was home. I'd been having some mild spotting almost daily for the previous month, but everything I read indicated it wasn't anything to worry about, so I was trying not to. By Monday morning, just before he was supposed to take off on his flight to the ship, the spotting and the feeling ill had increased, but OB said not to worry yet but to keep an eye on it. So, I told Blake to get on his flight and we'd be okay.

Naturally, I worried and kept close eye on things all day. I was taking a pottery class on base on Monday evenings, so I headed down. I was running late, and our dear friend (and Blake's immediate report in his chain of command) was leaving work late, which is unlike both of us, but it gave us a chance to run into each other and to talk. I think we were supposed to run into each other. I told her what was going on and she said that if anything more happened, anytime, to call her. I promised I would.

Pottery class was an hour long. OB had said that if bleeding increased enough to soak a pad in an hour to go immediately to the ER. I checked right after class and, sure enough, it was time to go. It was a blessing that I was already on main base, where the hospital was, and my instructor was kind enough to drive me to the hospital while I called Kate and stayed with me until Kate could arrive. I also called my upstairs neighbor, Jen, to update her and asked her to check in on Malcolm for me.

The ER wasn't very busy that night, so I was taken straight back. The next few hours was a lot of waiting, exams, tests, and worry. It couldn't be confirmed immediately that I was miscarrying, but I was told the baby was measuring small for the 9 weeks and 6 days they should have been and we were also checking that it wasn't ectopic or anything else.

Somewhere in that, Blake finally messaged me to let me know that he was safely on the ship and had started getting settled in. I had to respond that I was in the ER. He found a phone on the ship and called me immediately. I updated him as much as I could. He started offering to see if he could get back off the ship and home and I was about to tell him "No, you're already there, I'll be fine.", but I was taken to an ultrasound in the radiology department before I got a chance. I laid alone, scared, and crying while the tech, who had been called in from home, silently did their job. By the time I got back, maybe 30 minutes later, Kate had updated our commanding officer (CO) and Blake had updated his chain on the ship and the commands had already decided, without Blake asking, to send him home as soon as possible. Unfortunately, that wouldn't be until next day, but it would ultimately be better than either of us being alone. We talked a couple more times throughout the evening and the doctor came by during at least one phone call so they were able talk too.

Somewhere in the 9pm hour, I finally called Summer (who I do the school musicals and many other things with) to let her know that I wouldn't be at rehearsal the next day and why. She immediately offered words of comfort and asked if I would like her to send Ben to give me a blessing. We believe that through the power of the priesthood, blessings can be given for illness and comfort and through our faith we can be healed, if that is the will of Heavenly Father. It can be hard to ask for help, of any kind, but after running to Kate as I had earlier and the pottery instructor offering to drive and this offer of a blessing, I was getting practice in taking people up on things as fast as I could. I knew I couldn't do it alone. Ben recruited another man from church to help and arrived about 20-30 minutes later. Kate, a woman of faith in her own way, had also prayed for and with me while we were waiting.

Finally, around 11pm, I was discharged. We still didn't know for sure yet, but it was most likely that I was experiencing a miscarriage. I was told to keep an eye on the pain (which had started setting in while in the ER) and the bleeding and sent home. Our CO, who lived very close to the hospital, had offered his car to Kate, since neither of us had one, so she could drive me home. I called my parents and Blake's to let them know what was happening. I also had to call Jen again, the aforementioned upstairs neighbor, because I was completely out of toilet paper. I had planned to pick some up on my home, if things had gone according to plan.

Eventually, I got to bed and woke up feeling sad and scared on Tuesday morning. I was still bleeding some and the pain was mild, and my outlook was not good. I walked Malcolm and probably tried to eat breakfast and go about my day. But, by late morning, the pain came on so suddenly and so intensely that I was vomiting and shaking on the bathroom floor. I called Jen again and asked for a ride back to the ER. When I was waiting for Jen by the front door of our building, I saw another friend from church and told her what was happening.

I later identified that the pain was probably labor pains, which my body was not ready for. It came in waves every several minutes and was the most intense and painful I could ever remember. Jen helped me breathe and work through them until I was able to get some medication. There were more tests and exams and finally the official confirmation - my HCG (the pregnancy hormone) levels were 50% what they were the day before. I was, in fact, having a miscarriage. Once again, Blake called to tell me that he in was back in Japan and awaiting a flight back home, and I had to, once again, tell him I was in the ER. I also told Kate at some point that I was back in the hospital and when she tried to check on me and I didn't respond right away, she came over from her office in the building next door and relieved Jen. Eventually, and I can't remember how she found out - probably related the church friend I'd seen earlier, my friend Crystal came shortly after I was discharged and waiting at the pharmacy and relieved Kate.

This time, Crystal took me home. We stopped for a smoothie (because I was hungry but had no energy or desire to actually eat), which she kindly went in for while I hid in the car. Once we got home, I took Malcolm out and then Crystal and I both took up residence on the couch. We talked a little, but mostly just watched The Great British Baking Show while I laid down. Crystal admitted it was probably the most tv she'd watched in years, but I was grateful for her company. At some point, I actually heated up some dinner for both of us because I was feeling up to it and because it was easier than trying to tell her where everything was.

Eventually, Crystal started falling asleep on the couch. By this time, Jen had picked up Blake from the airport so I knew I'd only be alone for an hour or so, and sent Crystal home.

Blake was given the rest of the week to be with me as much as needed. He had to do a little work stuff here and there, but mostly we were just able to be together. Wednesday morning, the fetal tissue passed. Thursday, we got a ride from yet another friend back to the base so I could some follow up lab work and see the OB. It was supposed to be my 10 week appointment, but instead to it was to make sure everything was progressing as it should in a different kind of way so I wouldn't have to have a d&c. We had a couple hours to wait in between the lab and the OB, so while Blake ran errands like groceries, I rested at a friend's apartment, even though they weren't home. Their cat took care of me instead, which I referenced vaguely last year. 

Throughout the week, we had a few visitors, meals were dropped off, and many people called or texted to check in. Because Blake was gone to the ship and then suddenly back and then there were all the people we had already drawn on for assistance, so we knew we weren't going to be able to not tell people, and we really didn't mind that word was getting around. It was easier than telling people ourselves. I can't say that I'm ever happy to talk to about it, but I'm comfortable talking about it and willing to, when the time is right.

Saturday we went out to a light movie on base, just to get out of the house. But on Sunday, I wasn't up to the social and fellowshipping part of church. I did, however, really want to partake of the Sacrament (much like communion, but with bread and water instead of wafers and wine), which we believe is a renewal of our baptismal covenants and chance to realign ourselves with God's will every week. I also knew I was in great need of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, which we believe covers all struggles and ailments - not just sin and death. So, we showed up to church just as services started, stayed until the Sacrament had been passed, and then quietly left.

Monday, Blake went back to work and I went back to rehearsal and we tried to get back to normal life. Except, like the song lyric that I chose for this post, nothing was different, but nothing would ever be the same. It was the most intense grieving process I have ever experienced, and I was retrospectively sad for all the friends and family I've had who have had a similar loss. It's not a club you fully understand until you do. I felt broken and devastated and lost. And, admittedly, I sometimes felt relieved. I was (and still am) terrified about being a parent. Even though I was (and still am) mostly excited about the prospect, I was also okay with waiting a little longer, but then I'd feel guilty about that. It's an incredible roller coaster of emotions and a cycle I've been dealing with ever since.

Eventually, we did mostly get back to normal. There were probably even some days I didn't think about the loss at all, but most days it at least crossed my mind. And, as most people know, just over a year later, we are having better success this time around and have officially been told that the chance of miscarriage in this pregnancy is less than 1%.

I don't know why this baby didn't get to stay with us, and I don't know for sure what will happen in regards to this specific loss in the future. We have beliefs and doctrine about what happens to children after they are born, but nothing specific about before. Just hope, and I can live with that.

If you've ever experienced this kind of loss, you are not alone. I am here and we can talk, or not talk, or whatever you need. 20-25% of pregnancies end in loss, so it's a much bigger club than any of us would ever hope. Our generation is much better talking about it than those before us, but it's still not easy, nor will it ever be. I know I'm changed forever because of this, but I am grateful for the family, friends, and especially Blake, Heavenly Father, and Jesus Christ who made sure I didn't have to do this alone. 

It's turkey-lurkey time

My lemon meringue pie didn't turn out. I am officially 1 for 3 of lemon meringue pies I've attempted to make. Two of them have turned into a delicious lemon drizzle instead, which tastes great on vanilla ice cream, but doesn't hold up on a plate. Too many variables in the history of making the pie to know exactly what went wrong, but I'm sure I'll try again one day.

I'm most impressed that my pumpkin-chocolate tart turned out as well as it did! Despite the fact that I could have sworn I saw some at some grocery store somewhere, I had to make my own creme fraiche. It's not that tricky, but you have to start with buttermilk and I didn't have any of the that either. I can get it at the commissary, but I needed very little and didn't want to buy a whole quart of it. So, I started with making my own buttermilk with whole milk and lemon juice. Once that was set up, I added it to some heavy cream and just left it on the counter for 12 hours. The consistency didn't seem all that different by then, but I used it anyway. I also forgot to add sugar to the chocolate crust mix, so I just generally sugared the top of the crust and hoped for the best. Despite all this, it finished well and was quite yummy. 

Everything else went according to plan, except that I almost forgot to put the turkey in the oven! I remembered about 30 minutes later than I meat to, but that's not terrible. 

Overall, we had 10 people to feed and between our contributions and theirs, we had way more food than we could ever have needed and everyone had some of their favorites represented. I didn't even get to try it all because this lemon sized gummy bear I'm carrying around takes up more space than you think it would at this point. I even waited for pie longer than everyone else, and I still was barely able to find room for it. 

After dinner, several of us played Twister (an interesting post-dinner choice, but one our friends may make a tradition) and Pit - a game I love but don't play much because you need several players. 

Literally the only photo I took all day

Ultimately, it was a great day and a lovely meal with even lovelier people. We're up to at least 4 loads of dishes in the last 24 hours, with at least another two to go, but it was worth it! 

'Cause he mixes it with love and makes the world taste good

For as long as I think anyone can remember, my grandmother made pecan rolls for her family and friends at Christmas time. They are delicious treats with a nougat center and caramel with pecans on the outside. It's a very involved, all day process, but she did it every year (except when she and Grandpa were serving a mission for our church) without fail. Every year, my family would get a package of them with one pecan roll for each of us. We'd put them in the freezer and once every other month or so, we'd get one out, thaw it, and we'd each get a piece or two. Once I didn't live at home, I'd get mine in the mail. I'd freeze it, thaw it sometime during the year and eat it over a few days. After Blake joined the family, she would send us two every Christmas. I have no idea how many she would make every year, especially as her own family grew in addition to all the friends who would receive them, but it was many. So many.

A couple of years ago, she finally announced that she would be unable to continue the tradition. It was too much prolonged standing for her, and we all understood. My mom and sister helped that last year so that they would get more practice making them on their own, and Blake and I each got one more pecan roll in the mail.

We finally thawed one of them today. They tend to hide in the freezer, plus I've wanted to save them, but it was time. It was as delicious as ever. We saved a few pieces for tomorrow, and we still have one more in the freezer for one more time.

I need to learn how to make them. I'm sure they will never be as good as Grandma's, but it doesn't mean I can't try! 

Families can be together forever

I'm a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, also known as the Mormons. When possible on Sundays, I discuss some things related to my faith and what I believe. With respect to your own beliefs, I hope this gives you a chance to get to know me and my religion a little better. For previous installments, click here.

I believe that this mortal life is not all there is. I believe that we lived in a spiritual form before we were born and that we will live in a spiritual form again after we die until the resurrection when our spirit and body will be reunited in a perfect form forever. I believe that we have opportunities to live and grow and learn in this life and that we will have to chance to continue and progress beyond this life as well.

I believe because of those beliefs about life before and after this one that the relationships we have now may have existed in the existence before this and have the potential to continue after this one as well, especially marriages and families that are solemnized in temples for time and all eternity.

This belief is one of the great comforts of the gospel - that we will see those who pass on before us again and that death is only a temporary separation. That's not to say it's easy to lose those we love or that we can't be sad or grieve their loss, but that it can give some additional perspective to that loss and help, eventually, ease its pain. While some deaths can be a relief, such as the end of long and/or painful illness, others are still incredibly difficult, particularly anyone who dies before it is expected.

Of course, the closer we are to someone, the harder it can be to lose them, no matter the circumstances. Two of my friends (and their families) are going through one of the most challenging losses I anticipate anyone having to go through - the loss of a parent, particularly in a quick and unexpected way. These friends are close to my age and the parents close to the age of mine. One lost their mother, the other their father, and both due to sudden and relatively short illness. While it's not a loss I fully understand yet, and hope I don't anytime soon, I am still very sad for them and their families and their surviving spouses. And I'm sad for myself, because I know these parents that my friends have lost too, and they will be missed.

My friends believe as I do, but I know that they are hurting anyway and are sad not just for themselves, but for their young children who have lost a grandparent. Even when we believe we will see them again, we are sad for the lost potential of what could have been if we'd had more time here.

There is a lot more to Heavenly Father's plan for us than I can ever adequately explain here. You can learn more at this site, but I'm also happy to answer any questions anyone might have. I am grateful for the peace and perspective it gives me in all aspects of life and, in this particular case, look forward to seeing my loved ones again.

Grandpa P, who passed away in 2016. Shortly after I moved to Japan later that year, I realized he wasn't around anymore and didn't know we got to live in Japan. Immediately, I thought, "He knows." And I believe that's true - that he knows, loves me, and is proud of me and Blake and our little family.

I'm havin' a baby, a little girl, a little boy, a little you, a little me

So here's a thing that it is pretty common knowledge now but hasn't been discussed on the blog - I'm pregnant! And, as of today, officially in the second trimester!

It's our little gummy bear!

Baby is due at the end of May, just before my birthday. And since it's just before my birthday, when I will turn 35, it's not a geriatric pregnancy, which is great! That magic date that will switch me to advanced maternal age is not a big deal right away anyway, just increasing risks and more prenatal tests, which we will take into account for any future kids. It's just one less thing to worry about this time.

I have been very fortunate that I have mostly been spared any morning sickness or nausea. There were a couple of mornings during week six that I thought might be the onset, but then that was it. Even then it was just some mild queasiness that was solved by sitting and sipping a ginger beer with real ginger and taking a slow morning

Mostly, I'm just tired. So very tired. Which is why household chores have been low on my priority list, as I mentioned yesterday. Instead, I've been busy growing organs and a skeletal system! I am blessed that most days I can take my time and take naps and do what I need to do, but I've also discovered that, if necessary, I am capable of dozing off in a room of 30+ teenagers.

I also have to make sure I eat regularly. Things escalate very quickly from "I should eat" to "I should have eaten twenty minutes ago" if I don't stay on top of it. I don't really have any food aversions, so that helps, so long as it's pregnancy safe.

Telling family and friends has been a lot of fun for us - we tried our best to work it into conversation subtly when we could and watching people figure it out was highly entertaining. For example, we told our parents right away, within minutes of our successful home pregnancy test. It was approximately 11 pm our time, after I came home late from a rehearsal and couldn't wait anymore to confirm what we both suspected. Telling Blake's mom went something like this "Hey! You guys are up late! What are you doing?" "Taking pregnancy tests. What are you doing?" She thought about it for a short moment and then completely exploded with joy.

Our Halloween costumes were also good for some slow burn reactions. We wore them to both the church party and another with friends from work and it went something like this text exchange just about every time.

Our main goal is making sure baby and I are both healthy, of course. We have a great medical team, from what I've observed and know from other moms that have had babies here on base in Japan. We will, however, not be finding out if we're having a boy or a girl. We have waited this long to find out, so we can wait a few more months. We already have names picked out either way and there are so few good surprises left in this world.

We are, of course, very excited. We have been waiting and hoping for this baby for a long time, and the road has not been easy. Everything is looking really good though, and we are very hopeful that trend will continue! This will be one of our best adventures yet.

Divide and conquer and conquer, listen

I've posted a few times about chores over the years, both how lame they are to do alone (since I lived alone for almost four years before getting married) and how much I appreciate having a chore partner to help keep it all manageable now. Of course, being a military wife, I get several opportunities to do them all alone again, but at least during those times Blake is away I have only half the laundry and half the dining dishes now. And a dishwasher, which I didn't have in my solo hobbit hole of an apartment.

We've had to reorganize how we divide and conquer in regards to household tasks over the years. Shortly after we first got married, I was working starting early in the morning and Blake had evening classes some nights, so our schedules were opposite. We had a chore chart to help us remember it all. For example, Blake would make breakfast in the morning and I did dinner at night. Our laundry was in the basement of our building, so Blake would haul it up and down the stairs and wash it all before he left for school and I'd fold it while he was gone to class. I'd do bathrooms; he'd do floors.

Adding Malcolm added walk schedules and other dog duties. Human children bring similar changes. On the plus side, Malcolm is no longer afraid of the vacuum, so that chore is much less of a production than it used to be.

Moving to Japan, where Blake leaves for work early in the morning and I tend to do as I please, everything has changed again. I've willingly volunteered to take over most of the chores, since I have way more time, though I do tend to leave the garbage for Blake to take out. We both pitch in on dishes when possible, since it goes a lot faster with two people - same with laundry folding. Today, I folded clothes for the better part of the afternoon because we've both been lazy about it for almost two weeks. (I can give you the two week estimate because our Halloween shirts were in there.) Blake has probably still never had to clean a toilet in our entire marriage, though he did clean one by choice yesterday, since I declared randomly that I'd had enough of my own laziness and they needed it. I cleaned one and by the time I got to the other Blake was already on it, which was incredibly kind of him. Really, my inability to stay on top of chores lately is not entirely laziness, but more on that tomorrow.

Also, we've outsourced our vacuuming to the USS MARVIN, our new robot vacuum. It runs every night in the main room while we're in bed and in the back half of the apartment when I remember to set it up and it has made a gigantic difference in our house of all tile floors and a black, hairy dog. Every night before bed, Blake and I do a FOD walk and I empty the vacuum so that it's ready to go again.

Ultimately, we divide chores based on aptitude and interest and time, not at all on any gender roles or anything else. It works for us. We're constantly renegotiating them (e.g. "If you take Malcolm out right now, I'll start on dishes." or "Let's take Malcolm out together, then do the dishes together."), as we both think is healthy and necessary.

But what we can't do? Convince Malcolm to do his share. It's his toys we're picking up during the FOD walk and his hair that Marvin is picking up and his poops we clean up on all the walks we have to take him on. He's a punk. An adorable, furry punk and we will keep him around anyway.

How do you divide chores in your house?

Down in the forest we'll sing a chorus

Blake and I enjoy hiking. We don't go as often as we might like, but we've been on some good ones. Having Malcolm has helped encourage us to get out as well. We took time during a vacation to Palmyra, New York, to hike around because Malcolm needed a walk and were rewarded with a lovely, secluded morning hike around a pond in upstate New York. I don't think we saw anyone else on the trail that day. We have found old Civil War battlefields and family graveyards in Virginia. And I took Blake to a family favorite on our first trip home to meet the family in Utah - Battlecreek Falls.

Of all those hikes, the hike we took to Takatoriyama Park here in Zushi this last weekend was probably one of our favorite hikes to date. Ultimately, we ended up hiking close to 8 miles and climbed to 139 meters (456 feet) elevation at the summit. It may not sound like a lot to the serious hiker, but we live at about 6 meters (20 feet) above sea level and my Fitbit recorded me climbing 120 floors with all the ups and downs we trekked throughout the day. One floor is equivalent to about 10 feet in elevation rise, so we climbed 1,200 feet overall on Saturday.

Jimmuji Temple

Jizo at Jimmuji Temple

The views of the Miura Peninsula from Mount Takatori are fabulous, and you can see Mount Fuji on a clearer day than we had. Yes, all that uphill was hard at times, but we all managed. We especially liked a rock scramble section. Malcolm slipped a little at the start and seemed a bit nervous to continue, but with some encouragement he did great! In other sections of the hike, he was hopping from boulder to boulder like a little mountain goat, impressing us with his enthusiasm. 

Standing proud after completing the rock scramble on the way up

The bottom arrow reads - haikingucosu - Hiking Course! Reading Katakana is like playing Mad Gab. Sometimes you have to say it several times to actually understand what you're actually saying.

The end goal of our hike was a Buddha carved into the mountain. It's only about 60 years old, but still really interesting. We almost didn't make it this far, but Blake spotted it from the summit's observation deck, and that was encouraging. 

From the summit observation tower, the Buddha is in the quarry off to the left

Overlooking Yokosuka

The whole family!

As Blake says, for a rescue dog from West Virginia, Malcolm sure has come a long way!

Because it's Japan, there were vending machines at the summit, near the climbing walls that were once part of a quarry, and squatty potties. We took a Coca-Cola break before heading back down the mountain, which went a whole lot faster than the way up.

All the climbers we saw that day probably were somewhere between 45-75 years old - not the young person's hobby as it is in the States. This lifelong mobility is definitely one of our goals too!

Heading back down the rock scramble

We will definitely make this hike again. We hear good things about how it looks in the spring!

I'm a soul man

When we were leaving the States, Blake and I explained that we love our family very much, which is why we had gone back to Utah/Arizona/Washington a whole lot during our first four years together, but we were probably not going to come back for visits and they'd need to come to us. Well, when my dad had a business trip to Seoul, South Korea, and my mom would be coming along, I figured that was close enough and hopped on a plane of my own. Ultimately, we had a whole week together and while it was interspersed with a few meetings or client dinners, we also had a lot of time to explore together on my parents' first to Asia! (Warning: photo heavy post.)

Bongeunsa Temple

Bongeunsa Temple

Bongeunsa Temple

Bongeunsa Temple

Bongeunsa Temple

Jangseung - tall wooden poles carved out of wood and placed outside of Korean villages for protection.

Traditional Korean home

Dad had just asked me where his umbrella was.

Gwanghwamun Plaza - Admiral Yi Sun-sin of the Joseon Dynasty

Gwanghwamun Plaza - King Sejong the Great of Joseon

Gwanghwamun Plaza - King Sejong the Great of Joseon

Gyeongbukgung Palace

Japan does not have a monopoly on great toilets.

Changdeokgung Palace

Love locks at Seoul Tower

Love locks at Seoul Tower

Reppin the Y - This photo was featured one of BYU's Instagram accounts!

Since my first trip to Seoul, I've wanted to rent a hanbok like locals do when touring historical sites, but just hadn't yet for some reason. So when this little tent popped up at Seoul Tower (For only an hour or so! It was gone before we even left!), I happily took advantage of being able to try one for free!

With a guard - The mounds behind us were for beacon fires to warn the city. They did a reenactment of this while we were there.

Overlooking Seoul

Overlooking Seoul

Sprawling for miles in every direction

Rooftops as seen from the cable car coming down from Namsang Park (Seoul Tower)

Found a Clash of Clans maze. We had a few minutes, so I completed it and earned some stickers for Blake. He has played this game, so this was all for him. I sent him video evidence as well.

Han River Cruise

Han River Cruise

Photo spots on the riverfront

My parents did the romantic ones - I did the silly ones.

Because why not?

Visited the burial mounds of some former monarchs with just my dad

I think my favorite activity overall was going with my mom to the Dragon Hill Spa, a Korean bath house or jjimjilbang, with several floors dedicated to relaxation and entertainment.  It's actually not terribly different from an onsen in Japan, but this place was even flashier in some places than the onsen I've visited so far. We both got a full-body massage (more of those should happen in the middle of my vacations) and tried all the saunas and bath options and some traditional snacks. We ended up spending several hours here and missing a dinner that got scheduled while we were out of contact, but oh wow it was so worth it.

Entrance to Dragon Hill Spa

Like I said, a little flashy

Instead of paying inside the spa, you scan your wristband for any extras and pay when you leave.

Cold sauna

Himalayan pink rock salt sauna

Himalayan pink rock salt sauna

Sweet rice drink

Of course, no vacation to Seoul is complete without delicious food.

First meal with my mom (we met up with Dad later) - I have no idea what we ordered, because another customer ended up ordering for us because of the language barrier. Good thing it was tasty!

Taiyaki is a custard-filled fish shaped Japanese treat, but when we found one while shopping in Insadong that was filled with an Oreo, honeycomb, and topped with ice cream, I couldn't pass it up.

Korean barbecue!

Rainbow colored ice cream with a heart-shaped drip guard? Yes, please.

It would have been even better if Blake had been able to join us, but I'm still glad my schedule was flexible enough for this trip! Next time, Mom and Dad, if you could land in Japan instead of flying over it, that would be even better!

Parents worn out in the back of a taxi