Thursday, March 29, 2012

Groove is in the Heart

I lost my mojo. My creativity, my drive, my groove, my stride, my joie de vivre.

When this semester started, I knew that I was going to have more free time than I did last semester. Instead of 9 HARD credits (3 classes), I was taking three easy credits and three hard credits (2 classes). So instead of ALL HOMEWORK ALL THE TIME outside of church/work/gym/classtime, I had some homework and a lot of flexibility for when I did it, which required even more discipline in my free time - something I will always struggle with.

And just as I thought I was hitting my new semester stride, I left for a conference in Dallas (which I still haven't posted about, whoops) which completely derailed my schedule.
Left my own mark at a graffiti covered dive bar in Dallas

Then just as I was getting over that, Daylight Savings Time hit and I was one of many suffering the effects of feeling a little off in my circadian rhythm.

Then my personal life went through a bit of a rollercoaster.
Tree art seen on a run in my neighborhood
Then I had a seasonal allergy attack that gave me a couple of days of wanting to claw my itchy face off and now makes me sound like a cholera patient. At least I'm not itchy anymore.

Despite all of that, I've managed to accomplish everything on my Must Do List. Homework has been completed. I go to work everyday. I'm eating mostly well. Still haven't missed a workout. Even ran a 5K last weekend and set a new PR! I've still been able to do some very enjoyable things, like spend 5 hours replacing the battery in my car or walking out of a Hungarian play that gave all of us some massive ennui.

5K Bib!
Okay, so maybe not enjoyable, but they certainly make for some good stories!

I did get to play Cooties with my 4 year old "nephew" - That was a good night.
But I still haven't really felt any drive. My apartment consistently looks like a tornado hit. I could still clean up my nutritional habits. I could definitely stand to work harder at my job, school, the gym, and in my religious studies, not to mention the zillion other things on the to-do (must and want) of a busy, driven (usually) adult. I knew something was wrong, but I didn't entirely know what or how to fix it or even want to. It was especially driving me crazy because they weather is so nice most of the time! Why the blahs if there is so much warn sunshine and I'm wearing a lovely new dress? In short, I've felt a lot like Buffy.

Surprisingly, as soon as I realized this morning what the problem was, that I was suffering from a severe lack of mojo, I felt it creeping back. Maybe it's just that I can breathe through my nose for the first time in four days, but I think there's more to it. I have a little more energy today, and I'm actually looking forward to getting my dishes done tonight. And working on my research project. And wearing my new sun hat at the lake (I've lived less than .5 miles from a lake for almost three years and can still count on two hands the times I've been down there - I'm fixing that this year). And my jeans that I split this morning? I may never fix because I have some lovely new warm weather dresses and lots of other clothes that fit really well now, and I look better in them than in jeans and a t-shirt any day.
The lake near my apartment at sunset - taken before doing some lakeside yoga

 It's going to be okay. And even if it's not, thanks to @valforrestal, I'll be wearing a tiara whilst doing my chores, and that makes everything better.

You should wear a tiara too! It's fun!


Belle of the Blues said...

Love it! Love YOU!

Giggles said...

Everything is better with some kind of fun hat, or socks.

Getting stuck in autopilot is so easy to do and so hard to get out of. Do some loop-d-loops and pull up.

Amy said...

Hi! Blake told me about your blog. I'm his buddy's wife out here in AZ. I was quite entertained by your post. I can definitely relate to the "loss of mojo" feeling. I like to write, but when I'm pregnant, there's just nooo inspiration/motivation. Stinks!

Anyway, nice to "meet" you!