Being apart ain't easy on this love affair

As of today, November 26, Blake has been away from home on temporary assignments for 101 days of this calendar year. He's had short trips to Okinawa and Sasebo, both in Japan. Another short trip took him to Guam, and I was able to join him for the weekend after, which was really nice. His longest assignment was for a few months to South Korea, so we essentially lived in separate countries for some time. I was able to take three different trips to visit him while he was there, which was a great blessing and I've come to really enjoy and know Seoul more than I ever planned to, even after two trips there last year.

We tend not to broadcast that he's away during those times. I live in a secure place (a foreign military base is a well guarded gated community), but we still don't like to make a big deal of my being alone. Our ward and command and families know, so that we can both receive support, and we generally don't keep it a secret from anyone else if it comes up, but who we tell what information to is related to both Operational Security (OPSEC) and Personal Security (PERSEC). Even I don't get to know everything every time for those reasons.

It's fortunate that Blake's job isn't so secretive that I can't know anything. I know of families whose military member just disappears sometimes to do their jobs and know one knows where they are or when they will return and certainly not what they are doing. I know of marriages that have ended because of it. Comparatively, I know quite a lot about Blake's comings and goings and we can prepare for our separations.

For most of his time away so far, we've been able to talk regularly, usually daily, at least via text messages if not via phone or video chat. We can orchestrate playing games together online and or simultaneous viewings of streaming movies or tv shows. During one night while he was in Korea, we even went to the movie theaters on our respective bases and saw the same movie and had the same dinner (thank you chain restaurants). so it was almost as good as an in person date, just with less hand holding. We keep up with our family scripture study schedule and keep each other as informed as OPSEC will allow about what we're up to each day, just as we would if he were home, so that we can stay involved in each other's lives.

Genesis 31:49 - I commissioned this from an Etsy seller who makes custom dog tags. When he realized what it was for and that we were a Navy family, he included two chains and thanked us for our service. Blake wears his with his regular dog tags.

I believe in some ways I was prepared for this - I lived alone for more than three years before we got married, so I am very comfortable doing so when the Navy requires it. I'm independent and self-sufficient, possibly to a fault, so I know I can handle things while he is away.

That's not to say it isn't hard sometimes. It definitely is. We miss each other like crazy. But we make it work and the times we are together are that much sweeter.

For assignments that require him to work on a ship, he wears a silicone ring, so I wear his titanium one.

Today, Blake left for what could be his longest assignment to date. It's an incredible learning opportunity, for both us really, and one we've been aware of for over a year. Even when it wasn't an entirely sure thing, we've prepared and readied ourselves to be apart for awhile. We're going to miss to each other, as we always do, but we know this what we need to do right now. Our command, families, ward, and friends are all very supportive and this is going to be worth it.

A gift from Blake to me

This is what we signed up for when we joined the Navy. Blake is the one who wears the uniform, but we're both in this together. We didn't know the full extent of it, but we're learning and looking forward to wherever this adventure takes us!

My friend, the dictionary, is a very reliable friend

Several years ago, back when I was still in undergrad, I was part of a Utah-based theater lovers message board, Players Anonymous. Our membership was largely comprised of community theatre practitioners in the Utah and Salt Lake valleys. It was an opportunity to keep up to date about auditions and performances and other opportunities in the area, but also a place for general socializing. Eventually, mostly with the rise of Facebook, the boards went the way of much of the internet, and I'd moved out of Utah anyway. I enjoyed my time as a part of this group and met many people who affected my life in many ways, but that's not the point of this post.

My name on this board was Stretch Armstrong, based on the doll - not the band, or Stretch for short, which is where I get the AmandaStretch I largely go by now online. For a little while on the board, I created a weekly feature called "Stretch's Word Corner" where I'd make up silly words and their definitions. I don't remember any of them anymore - nothing really took off, but it was an amusing diversion for me.

I don't remember how I came up with any of the words. Some of them I worked on, some of them were probably happy accidents, like chocolate chip cookies - one of the world's best accidental inventions, but with far less cultural significance and staying power.

Words get made up all the time, at least in English. It's a living language, after all. Merriam-Webster added 841 new words to its dictionary this year alone!

I don't know if it will become part of the dictionary anytime soon, but Blake accidentally coined a new word, a clever portmanteau, this week that we really like - packanizing.

There's packing - put stuff in bags or boxes for travel or moving.

There is organizing - shifting things around to new locations within a permanent/semi-permanent space.

Packanizing is both! Blake has both to do this week, and when mentioning them on his to do list, he accidentally combined the words and it was a perfect description of the task ahead - a little packing of things to take with him, a little organizing of things to leave at home.

So, if you find it fits in your own life, you're welcome to use it too! Maybe it will take off and make the dictionary one day. Or maybe it will just make your life easier instead of saying packing and organizing separately all the time. You just might save several seconds of time over the course of your life.

Two nerds in love at a library on a vacation to Australia

I'm havin' a baby, a little girl, a little boy, a little you, a little me

So here's a thing that it is pretty common knowledge now but hasn't been discussed on the blog - I'm pregnant! And, as of today, officially in the second trimester!

It's our little gummy bear!

Baby is due at the end of May, just before my birthday. And since it's just before my birthday, when I will turn 35, it's not a geriatric pregnancy, which is great! That magic date that will switch me to advanced maternal age is not a big deal right away anyway, just increasing risks and more prenatal tests, which we will take into account for any future kids. It's just one less thing to worry about this time.

I have been very fortunate that I have mostly been spared any morning sickness or nausea. There were a couple of mornings during week six that I thought might be the onset, but then that was it. Even then it was just some mild queasiness that was solved by sitting and sipping a ginger beer with real ginger and taking a slow morning

Mostly, I'm just tired. So very tired. Which is why household chores have been low on my priority list, as I mentioned yesterday. Instead, I've been busy growing organs and a skeletal system! I am blessed that most days I can take my time and take naps and do what I need to do, but I've also discovered that, if necessary, I am capable of dozing off in a room of 30+ teenagers.

I also have to make sure I eat regularly. Things escalate very quickly from "I should eat" to "I should have eaten twenty minutes ago" if I don't stay on top of it. I don't really have any food aversions, so that helps, so long as it's pregnancy safe.

Telling family and friends has been a lot of fun for us - we tried our best to work it into conversation subtly when we could and watching people figure it out was highly entertaining. For example, we told our parents right away, within minutes of our successful home pregnancy test. It was approximately 11 pm our time, after I came home late from a rehearsal and couldn't wait anymore to confirm what we both suspected. Telling Blake's mom went something like this "Hey! You guys are up late! What are you doing?" "Taking pregnancy tests. What are you doing?" She thought about it for a short moment and then completely exploded with joy.

Our Halloween costumes were also good for some slow burn reactions. We wore them to both the church party and another with friends from work and it went something like this text exchange just about every time.

Our main goal is making sure baby and I are both healthy, of course. We have a great medical team, from what I've observed and know from other moms that have had babies here on base in Japan. We will, however, not be finding out if we're having a boy or a girl. We have waited this long to find out, so we can wait a few more months. We already have names picked out either way and there are so few good surprises left in this world.

We are, of course, very excited. We have been waiting and hoping for this baby for a long time, and the road has not been easy. Everything is looking really good though, and we are very hopeful that trend will continue! This will be one of our best adventures yet.

Eating things only with chopsticks

I've made it pretty obvious that I love Kamakura. No matter how times I've been, there is always more to explore or someone to introduce to something I've previously fallen in love with or favorites to see again. Today's trip was most of the latter two options. With Blake preparing for his next TAD soon and a move and other life changes closer on the horizon than we will ever be truly prepared for, we are trying to be proactive about visiting favorites potentially for the last time (at least together) and crossing things off our Japan bucket list. 

Blake really wanted to make sure we visited our favorite restaurant again, the one we just happened to find on our very first Japan outing and take as many people to as we can, so we built a Kamakura day around that. 

Lunch was delicious as always. We love yakiniku so much that we have our own tabletop grill for it at home now, but this place is so good and the lunch price is excellent, so it's worth the trip. 

Following lunch, we went to a chopsticks store that we feel is like Ollivander's wand shop from Harry Potter, where the wand chooses the wizard. There are fancy and fun chopsticks of all price ranges, many of which you can have a name engraved on. We've purchased several of these for gifts in the last two years, but we hadn't yet purchased any for ourselves. More on what we picked in a few paragraphs, when it's time to pick them up. 

A few days ago, I asked Blake if he had been to the bamboo forest in Kamakura yet. "Nope!" he responded. "Have I taken everyone but you!?" I queried and resolved to fix that today. It's a small but gorgeous garden on the grounds the Hokoku-ji Temple, and we enjoyed a stroll whilst our chopsticks were engraved.

Our first (or preferred, in Blake's case) names are written on each chopstick, one in hiragana, one in katakana, which I wrote out myself on the order from. My Japanese handwriting still isn't great, but it was sufficient today!

In case you can't read Japanese, mine is the pink with the inlaid mother of pearl and Blake's is the blue with wood. The hiragana is on the left of each set, katakana on the right.

Finally, we topped off the day at what seems to be our favorite Kamakura ice cream shop with their latest creation, a five layer ice cream!

From top to bottom - matcha, purple sweet potato, blue Ramune soda, strawberry, and vanilla.

It was a lovely outing. I hope that wherever we live in the future we can find little places like this that we enjoy revisiting over and over again. 

Oh what songs of the heart we will sing all the day

I'm a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, also known as the Mormons. When possible on Sundays, I discuss some things related to my faith and what I believe. With respect to your own beliefs, I hope this gives you a chance to get to know me and my religion a little better. For previous installments, click here.

I've mentioned before that I frequently hold music related callings (assignments) at church. I've also written more about callings here and here. I actually avoided it for the first year I lived in Japan had worked as activity leader for the girls ages 8-11 and then as a counselor in the presidency of the women's ministry (Relief Society). But when I realized our congregational music chair was leaving soon, I had a feeling I'd be asked to accept that assignment, and I was right. Then, a few months ago, our choir director was needed elsewhere and I asked if I would be willing to do that assignment as part of my music chair responsibilities and I agreed

I really don't mind these particular jobs. I enjoy music immensely and feel that its presence in our worship services is invaluable. I've done them before, but there is always still more to learn. And! I realized today our little ward choir music library is really just an unorganized IKEA bag of binders and stacks of  music, so you better believe I will be putting the knowledge I've gained from the two Masters degrees I have (musicology and library sciences) specifically with the goal of organizing music as a music librarian to work soon.

Today was a particularly involved musical day. Lots of people were out due to travel (it's a three day weekend, since we're an American base even in Japan, thank you veterans) or illness, plus I keep forgetting my choir accompanist moved, so I was pretty busy for two of the three hours of church and the hour before for choir practice. Blake helped me copy and collate the Christmas song we started in choir today. Choir was more of a soprano sectional (no altos or men), and I had to play the piano and teach/lead the music - which was actually still productive. Then, even though it's not my month, I led the music in our general worship service (Sacrament meeting), since this month's conductor was away for a volleyball tournament. The Sunday school class we attended did not have any music - this time, but I spent the last hour of church in the children's Sunday school (Primary) subbing as the music leader (who was traveling) and playing Battleship (the ships were songs the children are learning).

Props to Jessica, our usual Primary music leader

Truthfully, it was probably one of the better Sundays I have had at church recently. I felt the spirit, sang and learned of Jesus, and had fun!

The rest of Sunday hasn't been too bad either. We took a too long nap, went to the dog park, and then made okonomiyaki (savory Japanese pancakes) for dinner.

Afterward, Blake and I played Forbidden Island and won by the skin of our teeth.

I love Sundays! And music! And spending time with Blake!

How does she know you love her?

Tonight, Blake and I were invited to speak to the 12-18 year olds from church at their weekly mid-week activity. Our subject was dating and relationships, so we were asked to share our story and any thoughts we had on dating and then answer questions that the youth had submitted anonymously. In case you don’t know our story, you can find it starting here. We were asked because we are fun, or at least that’s what we were told. I’d like to think we are, though we have been out of the dating game for more than six years now and haven’t been the average age of the teenagers in attendance for about 20, so hopefully our story and things we’ve learned were of some value.

The questions that were asked were pretty good actually: How can I tell if a girl/guy likes/doesn’t like me? How did know this person was the one? What should I say to a girl?

Between us, the adult leaders, and the youth, we had a productive discussion on it all. The suggested dating age in our church is 16, and most of the youth in attendance tonight are under 16, so we also likened most of our advice or thoughts to just building relationships and friendships of all kinds.

The thing about dating advice, and even all advice really, is that it’s never one size fits all. There are some good, General principles we can all put into practice, but its application can still vary from person to person and, when it comes to dating and marriage, from relationship to relationship. Some of the best advice I got before getting married, which tends to be what I pass on to newly engaged couples, is to take all advice with a grain of salt, including this!

Hopefully we communicated that in some part to this group. I didn’t want it to be the first or any part of a series of “you should date and get married and have lots of babies immediately” discussions that can happen all to frequently in our religious culture. I know I was sick of them after 12 years of dating, and 16 years since becoming a “youth”, before I met and married Blake. I even walked out of at least one of those discussions when I saw that topic written on the board when I went into the room. It was after a particularly bad breakup, and I don’t feel bad about it for a second.

Dating is stressful sometimes, but it can also be fun. I hope these kids can figure that out for themselves when the time is right!

On the way home, we stopped at a recently opened Carl’s Jr. just outside of the main base. Due to a series of unappealing ads and even some that were downright sexist, I haven’t eaten at a Carl’s Jr. in years. (I also haven’t lived near one in well over a decade, but that’s besides the point.) Still, I can’t deny the opportunity for a good burger (somewhat elusive in Japan) and, particularly, a nice, thick ice cream shake, even if Blake ended up drinking most of it. At least I know they’re there AND tasty for future reference.

We got home much later than usual for a weeknight, but I think it was worth it.

Lookin' for some hot stuff, baby this evenin'

For some reason or another, every time Blake and I have planned a trip to Hakone, a mountain town southwest of Tokyo well known for its volcanic hot springs resorts and views of Mount Fuji and only a couple of hours away from us, something has come up and we've had to cancel. We kept hearing of friends' adventures there and seeing beautiful photos and just never making it ourselves.

Just walking around the town is charming!

Until this weekend! We finally made it! We could make it one long day trip, but that would mean close to five or six hours on trains and buses just getting there and back, not to mention any travel around. We chose to make it a little more relaxing of a getaway and did the long trip out there Friday after work and stayed the night at a hotel to rest up before a day of exploring. We found a nice western-style hotel with an onsen, instead a more pricey (but definitely worth the experience when you're in Japan) traditional Japanese inn or ryokan. I took advantage of the onsen before bed for even more relaxation, and we both enjoyed the breakfast provided in the morning.

One night away from home and we accidentally pack the same shirt (our family reunion shirt from when Blake's entire family came to visit us this summer). Luckily, we both wore hoodies most of the day.

The first few hours of our day seemed like just going from one mode of transportation to another, but the variety of transportation methods and the lovely views of the fall leaves in the Hakone National Park were the point. The joy is in the journey, after all.

Our first stop was Hakone Shrine and the gorgeous torii gate submerged into Lake Ashi, a volcanic crater lake.

Then, even though it hadn't been high on our priority list, we took a reproduction pirate cruise ship north on Lake Ashi. It was included in our Hakone Free Pass, a pass we decided to buy at the last minute that covered most bus routes and all the other transportation we took plus discounts or entry at a variety of other places in the area that was well worth the money, and it was going from where we were to where we wanted to be for the next leg of our adventure, so why not? It was a lovely little cruise with excellent leaf peeping opportunities. On clearer days, we would have seen Mount Fuji.

The ship Victory

The same torii gate from earlier!

It dropped us off at the beginning station of the Hakone Ropeway, which we took all the way to the end and then took a cable car.

We stopped at Owakudani, a volcanic valley with active sulphur vents, including a new one from a small eruption in 2015. Here, you can eat black eggs that have been boiled in the sulphuric water. Each one you eat is said to add seven years to your life!

After lunch at a Ninja Cafe, where the staff were dressed as ninjas, we headed to Yunessun, which was conveniently only a few minutes by bus from the end of the cable car line we had just chosen to take to the end and go from there. It's almost like I planned that! (Maybe part of me knew this, but I did surprisingly little advanced planning for this trip. I knew what we wanted to do and kind of where stuff was, but we figured out the travel parts as we went.)

Yunessun is basically a onsen themed water park. There is a traditional onsen portion, though we skipped that this time, but the main attraction is the family friendly, bathing suit area with a variety of different themed baths. We tried just about all of them! It was a chilly day, so relaxing in a warm bath was just what we needed. Besides the ones pictured below, we tried a few different tea baths, one in a cave with an aquarium of jellyfish, and more!

Coffee bath (sorry about the water on the lens)

Sake!

Wine - This one was probably our favorite. Fun color and nice temperature, so we started and ended our bath exploration here.

Then, though there were many other attractions in the region that we could spend days locating and enjoying, we decided that we would also be well served by not completely exhausting ourselves and heading home in time for dinner (which we picked up on the way).

It was a great day and we're so glad we finally made it! Hopefully, we can go back and see some of the things we missed!

We could've gone all the way to the Great Wall of China

Going to China over our 5th anniversary was more happenstance than the plan - the schedule just worked out that way. When we first got married, I think I said something about maybe going back to the hotel in San Diego where we spent our honeymoon for our 5th. China was way better!

Our anniversary was on Monday this year, and we spent the morning at the Summer Palace. It’s a gorgeous and huge property, with a large man-made lake in the middle. It’s probably nicer in the summer, but still neat to see year-round. In fact, it was one of several places we saw on our trip with people doing morning exercise on the grounds. In this case, at least a couple of older men were doing tai chi in a sun warmed spot.

The Bronze Ox is keeping watch over the palace

Seventeen Arch Bridge

We elected not to explore the whole area, just so we’d have more time to explore our afternoon destination - The Great Wall! On the way, we stopped at a jade market to learn more about jade carving and found a perfect anniversary gift to ourselves.

Jade carving

Process of carving a Happy Family Ball

This photo doesn't do it justice, but we purchased a Happy Family Ball - The outer ball is a dragon (the husband) and a phoenix (the wife) wrapped around and protecting the inner balls (the generations yet to come). We wanted something with a dragon and phoenix for our anniversary from this trip, and finding this on the actual day was perfect.

Lunch was at a place at the base of the mountain with a view of the Great Wall! The food was alright, but that view was particularly neat! Some friends of ours who had previously been posted in Beijing with the State Department recommend we go to the Mutianyu section (there are several to choose from), which they said had better views and fewer people. Apparently it’s also our guide’s favorite section and he’d never had anyone request it before. Now that we’ve been there, we absolutely agree that it's the place to be!

There aren’t as many domestic tourists that come to this section and there were times we almost felt like we were alone on this wall.

We took a chair lift to the wall itself (though you can just hike up), and then hiked as many sections as we had time for. Some were practically ladders you had climb up! I bum-scooted back down that one and a kind fellow tourist looked at me, then back to Blake skeptically, and then asked if I wanted to hold onto his arm on the way, probably wondering why Blake wasn’t helping. I thanked him but just said it’s because I have short legs and it was easier this way. I promise Blake is a good helper and excellent husband!

Ultimately, we walked about 3 miles around the Wall and my Fitbit logged 91 flights of stairs this day!

As incredible as the Wall in the Mutianyu section is, it was almost as incredible to get down - by toboggan! We each took a sled 1.5km down the mountain, a ride that actually takes a few minutes! I learned about it after we had already chosen this section and our guide suggested it as well. You do have a handbrake to control your speed, and the slope is gentle. Definitely the way to go!

A little cold, but so worth it!

All told, this was probably the highlight of our whole Beijing leg of this trip. Such an amazing experience!

Dinner that night was Peking duck, beef, and vegetables. Lots more vegetables served with meals in China than in Japan, which we appreciate.

Duck on a duck shaped plate

Carving the duck

Here’s to five years of wedded bliss with an eternity to go!

Blake had try the Pepsi Blue, once available in the US, but now only in Indonesia and, apparently, in the Carrefour in Beijing. I tried the Green Apple Mirinda.