Divide and conquer and conquer, listen

I've posted a few times about chores over the years, both how lame they are to do alone (since I lived alone for almost four years before getting married) and how much I appreciate having a chore partner to help keep it all manageable now. Of course, being a military wife, I get several opportunities to do them all alone again, but at least during those times Blake is away I have only half the laundry and half the dining dishes now. And a dishwasher, which I didn't have in my solo hobbit hole of an apartment.

We've had to reorganize how we divide and conquer in regards to household tasks over the years. Shortly after we first got married, I was working starting early in the morning and Blake had evening classes some nights, so our schedules were opposite. We had a chore chart to help us remember it all. For example, Blake would make breakfast in the morning and I did dinner at night. Our laundry was in the basement of our building, so Blake would haul it up and down the stairs and wash it all before he left for school and I'd fold it while he was gone to class. I'd do bathrooms; he'd do floors.

Adding Malcolm added walk schedules and other dog duties. Human children bring similar changes. On the plus side, Malcolm is no longer afraid of the vacuum, so that chore is much less of a production than it used to be.

Moving to Japan, where Blake leaves for work early in the morning and I tend to do as I please, everything has changed again. I've willingly volunteered to take over most of the chores, since I have way more time, though I do tend to leave the garbage for Blake to take out. We both pitch in on dishes when possible, since it goes a lot faster with two people - same with laundry folding. Today, I folded clothes for the better part of the afternoon because we've both been lazy about it for almost two weeks. (I can give you the two week estimate because our Halloween shirts were in there.) Blake has probably still never had to clean a toilet in our entire marriage, though he did clean one by choice yesterday, since I declared randomly that I'd had enough of my own laziness and they needed it. I cleaned one and by the time I got to the other Blake was already on it, which was incredibly kind of him. Really, my inability to stay on top of chores lately is not entirely laziness, but more on that tomorrow.

Also, we've outsourced our vacuuming to the USS MARVIN, our new robot vacuum. It runs every night in the main room while we're in bed and in the back half of the apartment when I remember to set it up and it has made a gigantic difference in our house of all tile floors and a black, hairy dog. Every night before bed, Blake and I do a FOD walk and I empty the vacuum so that it's ready to go again.

Ultimately, we divide chores based on aptitude and interest and time, not at all on any gender roles or anything else. It works for us. We're constantly renegotiating them (e.g. "If you take Malcolm out right now, I'll start on dishes." or "Let's take Malcolm out together, then do the dishes together."), as we both think is healthy and necessary.

But what we can't do? Convince Malcolm to do his share. It's his toys we're picking up during the FOD walk and his hair that Marvin is picking up and his poops we clean up on all the walks we have to take him on. He's a punk. An adorable, furry punk and we will keep him around anyway.

How do you divide chores in your house?

Trapped in the closet

Three years ago, I posted about my least favorite chores and said, "I really hope I marry someone who doesn't mind sweeping and mopping."

I found that post while randomly surfing through my own blog the other day and realized that my wish had come true. I did indeed marry someone who doesn't mind sweeping and mopping! That, my friends, is a major blessing in my life. And, he hates cleaning toilets, but I don't, so guess what one of my chores is?

I do think that I get the better end of the deal on vacuuming too. Currently, I hide in the office with Malcolm, while Blake vacuums.

Malcolm does not like the vacuum, at all, and we don't really trust him in the office without supervision. So, Malcolm and I hang out in the office while Blake vacuums, and it's usually followed by some Malcolm and Blake reunion time, as evidenced by this series of photos from July.

Malcolm waiting in the closet for the vaccuuming to be done

Hugs!

Malcolm hugs are an experience

And might involve a nose or tongue in the face

Piggyback rides are fun too! 

Good day, Sunshine

I'm a morning person now.

You can stop laughing, because it's true. For one month now, I've had a workout partner and made it to the gym every day except Sundays. This is my fifth week of the new fitness regime and it's going amazingly well, but first, the morning person thing.

Two weeks ago, we switched exclusively to morning workouts. By morning, I mean 5:30 AM, which means I have to be up by 5 AM. 5 AM!! Before the last two weeks, 5 AM didn't exist in my world, except maybe as a bedtime on really extraordinary weekends or a wakeup time when I'm flying somewhere awesome. It certainly wasn't an every day occurrence.

But now it is, and guess what? I love it.

As long as I get to bed by 10 PM (a feat I'm still working on, but it happens sometimes), 5 AM isn't actually so bad. Then, 5 AM, I'm up and dressed and on my way to the gym. I'm back home anywhere from 6:30-7, and then I have time to drink a protein shake, do the previous day's dishes, read scriptures, fold laundry, watch an HBO documentary I recorded over a year ago, shower, dress/hair/makeup, actually cook breakfast, and eat (sitting at the dining room table, natch) while reading an article or two in a church magazine.

At least, that's what I did yesterday morning. The daily details vary (today, no more than dishes to clean, so I'm blogging while watching last night's TV), but the gobs of time is no joke. It's almost like there are two of me - Morning Amanda and Evening Amanda. Morning Amanda does all the chores, prepares the food for the day, and does all the exercise so that Evening Amanda can go out with friends, read, or otherwise enjoy a life of leisure. For all the complaining I do about not having enough time to manage my household and live my life, I'm making quite a bit of progress.

Speaking of progress, the workouts are going amazingly well. A-Money, my partner, and I alternate days of cardio and strength training. I'm also tracking my calories, carbs, proteins, and fats with my LoseIt app. My goal is to lose 30 lbs by my 27th birthday (end of May), which is approximately 2 lbs. a week, and get to 22% body fat.

As of this morning, I'm down 3.6 lbs. and 4% body fat. The weight loss doesn't seem that dramatic, nor is it on track, but it's significant because I've been lifting weights for the first time in ages, so I'm building muscle and STILL losing weight. The 4% body fat is definitely nothing to scoff at.

So, I'm not losing weight, but I'm losing size. My muscles are already more defined (hello calves and biceps), my shirts fit better, and my face is thinning! It's nice to see my cheekbones again. In fact, it was A$ who mentioned the face thing, so I'm not the only one who is noticing all the changes.

Working out with a partner, especially one who works part time as a personal trainer, is literally changing my life. We actually still can't work out together every single day, since sometimes she has clients, but we always check in. I even convinced Cabeza to meet us at the gym three days a week, though he's swimming whilst we're lifting, and calling him on his workout days gets me out of bed that much faster. It's brilliant, I tell you. 

I never thought I'd say this, but I really do love getting up early and working out and I'm really looking forward to a new me!

Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout

I love having a clean house. I can find things, there aren't weird smells wafting about, and it just looks nicer. There's a different feeling that exists in a clean house than in a cluttered or dirty one. I may have grumbled about my chores as a kid and my dorm room during my freshman year of college was anything but consistently tidy, but I have, eventually, come to realize just how much I like a clean home. You can do a blog search here and find all the posts in which I've admitted this before.

You can also found several posts admitting that I'm not one of those people who can keep a perfectly clean house all the time. I wish I could, but I don't, and I'm okay with that.

Luckily, I have someone to help me now. We had a pretty good cleaning schedule that we came up with together, but after a few weeks something happened, life always does, and we got off schedule and things have gotten a little dirtier around here. Fortunately, we have a pretty similar attitude about house cleaning and the amount of tolerable clutter, so we're okay when it's not perfect.

It also means we agree when it's time buckle down and just do it. We have scheduled this Saturday to be a CLEAN ALL THE THINGS day and I think we're both looking forward to it. We'll then get back on our cleaning schedule and keep things a little nicer for awhile.  Ten to twenty minutes a day is better than an entire Saturday afternoon.

I do have an app (and the creator's Tumblr and Twitter that I follow) that is pretty motivating and helpful in breaking up cleaning into manageable chunks. It has some language though, so instead of linking to it directly, you may ask if you'd like the link.

Do you like a clean house? What helps you stay motivated to keep it clean?

Seriously. Saturday night, our apartment is going to look awesome again.

Once there was a snowman

The last time DC saw snow of much significance was February of 2010. Any snowfall since then has been less than two inches and while that has been enough to shut things down and cancel school here and there, it's only been for a day, not several.

Until this week.

We had a great three day weekend for Martin Luther King, Jr., Day and were all set to go back to work and school on Tuesday when the forecast of 5-8 inches was enough to cancel school before we even went to bed on Monday. Blake's work wasn't closed until Tuesday morning, but it was followed by at least three inches of snow and neither one of us had to be anywhere again until late Wednesday afternoon when Blake's school finally reopened.

My own three day weekend has turned into a six day weekend because even though the accumulation hasn't been nearly as much as our last huge storm, it's even colder this time and road conditions is some of the more rural parts of the region are still treacherous. I did get out for a very bundled up walk with Blake this morning, which was quite nice, but otherwise I haven't left the apartment complex since Monday. Shortly after I post this, I'll finally need to put something other than pajamas on so that I can go to choir rehearsal. Tomorrow, Friday, may be my only day of work this week, though it's possible it will get canceled too, as some other local school districts have already done so. (I work for a private school, but we do what our county school district does for weather cancellations.)

As much as I like my job, all this extra time off has been very enjoyable. Blake was with me for most of it, which was a lot of fun. We decided it was terrible packing snow, but I did get to make a snow angel. There's been plenty of food, games, books, electricity, and supplies around and, since we recently got a Roku, plenty of tv and movies to stream directly to our television. There has also been no shortage of naps and warm snuggles. I've even managed to do few chores around here. It's also good that I'm getting paid this time.

View from our balcony

Frozen culvert

Hooray for snow days/weeks!

Take a break

Lots of my days are fairly busy with rehearsals or errands or social engagements or Japan adventures. But some days are not. Some days, like today, are spent mostly at home, binge watching Season 2 of Grey's Anatomy for the third time, doing laundry, straightening up the house, and just relaxing and cuddling the dog.

In the morning, I had an Officer Spouses of Yokosuka coffee at another member's house in my neighborhood, which was convenient. When I got home, Malcolm made it very clear he was happy to see me and didn't want me to doing anything else for a bit.

After lunch and some more chores and some indoor fetch, Malcolm needed some more cuddle time.

At the end of the day, the house wasn't sparkling and my to do list is still fairly long, but I felt good about my day. It's good to slow down sometimes, spend time with family (even the furry members), and relax. I've also had a bit of a cough this week, and I think spending the day at home was good for that too.

Sometimes I feel guilty about the days I spend this way. There are more of them than there used to be when I was working full time and/or going to school. But it's okay. Different seasons of life bring different opportunities and this season is a little more flexible for me than most have been or will be. The key is to be grateful for the highlights of whatever season you're in, and days like today are certainly a highlight of this season.

Groove is in the Heart

I lost my mojo. My creativity, my drive, my groove, my stride, my joie de vivre.

When this semester started, I knew that I was going to have more free time than I did last semester. Instead of 9 HARD credits (3 classes), I was taking three easy credits and three hard credits (2 classes). So instead of ALL HOMEWORK ALL THE TIME outside of church/work/gym/classtime, I had some homework and a lot of flexibility for when I did it, which required even more discipline in my free time - something I will always struggle with.

And just as I thought I was hitting my new semester stride, I left for a conference in Dallas (which I still haven't posted about, whoops) which completely derailed my schedule.

Left my own mark at a graffiti covered dive bar in Dallas

Then just as I was getting over that, Daylight Savings Time hit and I was one of many suffering the effects of feeling a little off in my circadian rhythm.

Then my personal life went through a bit of a rollercoaster.

Tree art seen on a run in my neighborhood

Then I had a seasonal allergy attack that gave me a couple of days of wanting to claw my itchy face off and now makes me sound like a cholera patient. At least I'm not itchy anymore.

Despite all of that, I've managed to accomplish everything on my Must Do List. Homework has been completed. I go to work everyday. I'm eating mostly well. Still haven't missed a workout. Even ran a 5K last weekend and set a new PR! I've still been able to do some very enjoyable things, like spend 5 hours replacing the battery in my car or walking out of a Hungarian play that gave all of us some massive ennui.

5K Bib!

Okay, so maybe not enjoyable, but they certainly make for some good stories!

I did get to play Cooties with my 4 year old "nephew" - That was a good night.

But I still haven't really felt any drive. My apartment consistently looks like a tornado hit. I could still clean up my nutritional habits. I could definitely stand to work harder at my job, school, the gym, and in my religious studies, not to mention the zillion other things on the to-do (must and want) of a busy, driven (usually) adult. I knew something was wrong, but I didn't entirely know what or how to fix it or even want to. It was especially driving me crazy because they weather is so nice most of the time! Why the blahs if there is so much warn sunshine and I'm wearing a lovely new dress? In short, I've felt a lot like Buffy.

Surprisingly, as soon as I realized this morning what the problem was, that I was suffering from a severe lack of mojo, I felt it creeping back. Maybe it's just that I can breathe through my nose for the first time in four days, but I think there's more to it. I have a little more energy today, and I'm actually looking forward to getting my dishes done tonight. And working on my research project. And wearing my new sun hat at the lake (I've lived less than .5 miles from a lake for almost three years and can still count on two hands the times I've been down there - I'm fixing that this year). And my jeans that I split this morning? I may never fix because I have some lovely new warm weather dresses and lots of other clothes that fit really well now, and I look better in them than in jeans and a t-shirt any day.

The lake near my apartment at sunset - taken before doing some lakeside yoga

 It's going to be okay. And even if it's not, thanks to @valforrestal, I'll be wearing a tiara whilst doing my chores, and that makes everything better.

You should wear a tiara too! It's fun!

I'm havin' a baby, a little girl, a little boy, a little you, a little me

So here's a thing that it is pretty common knowledge now but hasn't been discussed on the blog - I'm pregnant! And, as of today, officially in the second trimester!

It's our little gummy bear!

Baby is due at the end of May, just before my birthday. And since it's just before my birthday, when I will turn 35, it's not a geriatric pregnancy, which is great! That magic date that will switch me to advanced maternal age is not a big deal right away anyway, just increasing risks and more prenatal tests, which we will take into account for any future kids. It's just one less thing to worry about this time.

I have been very fortunate that I have mostly been spared any morning sickness or nausea. There were a couple of mornings during week six that I thought might be the onset, but then that was it. Even then it was just some mild queasiness that was solved by sitting and sipping a ginger beer with real ginger and taking a slow morning

Mostly, I'm just tired. So very tired. Which is why household chores have been low on my priority list, as I mentioned yesterday. Instead, I've been busy growing organs and a skeletal system! I am blessed that most days I can take my time and take naps and do what I need to do, but I've also discovered that, if necessary, I am capable of dozing off in a room of 30+ teenagers.

I also have to make sure I eat regularly. Things escalate very quickly from "I should eat" to "I should have eaten twenty minutes ago" if I don't stay on top of it. I don't really have any food aversions, so that helps, so long as it's pregnancy safe.

Telling family and friends has been a lot of fun for us - we tried our best to work it into conversation subtly when we could and watching people figure it out was highly entertaining. For example, we told our parents right away, within minutes of our successful home pregnancy test. It was approximately 11 pm our time, after I came home late from a rehearsal and couldn't wait anymore to confirm what we both suspected. Telling Blake's mom went something like this "Hey! You guys are up late! What are you doing?" "Taking pregnancy tests. What are you doing?" She thought about it for a short moment and then completely exploded with joy.

Our Halloween costumes were also good for some slow burn reactions. We wore them to both the church party and another with friends from work and it went something like this text exchange just about every time.

Our main goal is making sure baby and I are both healthy, of course. We have a great medical team, from what I've observed and know from other moms that have had babies here on base in Japan. We will, however, not be finding out if we're having a boy or a girl. We have waited this long to find out, so we can wait a few more months. We already have names picked out either way and there are so few good surprises left in this world.

We are, of course, very excited. We have been waiting and hoping for this baby for a long time, and the road has not been easy. Everything is looking really good though, and we are very hopeful that trend will continue! This will be one of our best adventures yet.

I could make it on my own, let me know that I don't have to

I have lived out on my own, for good, now since 2005. For more than 3.5 years, I have lived completely on my own - no roommates by choice. I've gotten used to managing my own house and chores. I'm not perfect and my house was far from impeccable, but I did pretty well for myself.

Blake has jumped right in and started sharing my burdens and I his. I refused to let him help me clean before I had him over for the first time, but since then he has helped with cleaning and cooking and anything I need or want. We started grocery shopping together ages ago, and if I cook, he cleans.

I love Blake because he really helps me and we get to work together, especially now as we assemble our new home and life. With everything we have going on, neither one of us feels unevenly burdened.

I could continue to make it alone, but I'm so glad I don't have to anymore!

All By Myself

I love having my own little apartment, all to myself. I know to some people it sounds reclusive or lonely, and maybe it is sometimes, but most of the time it's really perfect for my current situation.

Most of the time.

There are certain problems with living all by my lonesome.

For example:

Missing things - I'm highly organized and fairly predictable with where I put things, so anything going missing can be really disconcerting. Recently found - large whisk, angled makeup brush. Still missing - tape measure, one red flat (that's a shoe, boys). Where could they possibly be?

Stuck/broken zippers - I know Eilonwy will laugh about this, but I just got absolutely stuck in a zipper again. The skirt fit, but the zipper broke just as I finished zipping it up, and rendered it both unwearable and unzippable. Fortunately, my visiting teacher arrived as I was fighting with it, but she couldn't get it to move either. So I seam ripped my way out of it as we talked. Whatever works, right?

No divvying up of chores - If I want something cleaned/cooked/folded, I have to do it myself. Even for a small apartment, this can still be a lot of cleaning/cooking/folding.

The mess is always yours - I can see three pairs of shoes that should be put away from where I'm sitting. And they're all mine. I can't make anyone else put them away.

No one to talk to - I like being in charge of when I interact with other people, and not be surprised by roommate's friends I wasn't expecting. But sometimes, no one answers their phone or is online when I am in a social mood.

No one to hang out with - Again, I like knowing who is going to be in my house when, but sometimes there is no one here when I want them to be.

Only decision maker - This definitely can be a good thing, but just as one example - 3 meals a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year. I love cooking and food, but it gets old deciding what to eat all the time!

Fortunately, the good outweighs the bad, and I still love my home!

On a related note, this video and poem is awesome, click through if the frame gets cut off:

Yo, those were the days I will never forget

Maybe it's because I saw Up! on Saturday. Maybe it's because yesterday was Father's Day. Maybe it's because I just turned 25 and it somehow dawned on me that I won't be a mom until at least my late twenties. Maybe it's all of the above.

Either way, I've been reminiscing about my childhood and have come to the realization that my children may never get to experience certain joys I did. Two specifically have come to mind.

Jack's Pak-It - This was the little convenience store next door to my ballet studio in Beaumont, Texas. Living in our yellow house (where we lived from 1996-1998), it was within biking distance. During the summer, my siblings and I would hop on our bikes with a spare dollar or two and buy our favorite candy. They had a great selection and it was fun to stock up 10 cent candies, like 2 packs of Sixlets, three SweetTarts, and some 50 cent chocolate bar. Brotherface and I would take shifts shopping or watching the bikes, and Sisterpants (who would have only been 8-10 at the time) would stay in view of one us. We'd usually eat something there and then bike back home, finishing our candy over the course of the next day or so. I have no idea how often we'd go, but it was one of the few activities all three of us could agree on, and we still talk about it.

Nowadays, it's all chains, like 7-11, and it's not nearly the selection of child-priced candies. I only hope my children will have a place like that to go on their own and spend their hard-earned allowance/babysitting/chore money.

Renting movies - Now, as a Netflix user, I'm partly to blame for this, but video rental stores on the decline. Libraries have DVDs, but not all of them have a great selection (the last library branch I frequented did not). This is sad, because one of our favorite things to do as kids, accompanied by a parent, was to go the video store and rent a movie, after all our Friday chores were done. It wasn't always easy to decide, which probably drove our parents crazy, but almost always managed to do so. If I want to continue this occasional treat of a tradition for my kids, it's probably going to need some serious modification. And that's unfortunate.

Luckily, there are some things I loved as a kid that will still be around whenever I get around to having a family:

• Parent-child dates
• Biking
• Hiking
• Sing-alongs
• Father's interviews
• Lemonade stands
• Sporting events

Some days, I can't wait.

Clean up, Clean up, everybody, everywhere

 Was there a chore you really hated doing as a child?

My parents would probably say "all of them". That was probably true at times. Eventually, however, I discovered how much I hate sweeping and mopping. I would clean toilets a thousand times over floors. This, for some reason, is still true. Vacuuming? No problem, so it wasn't all floors. I just don't like sweeping and mopping. It's gross and I never feel like it's clean enough.

At some point, we kids all figured out chores we preferred and I often traded vacuuming with someone else so they would sweep and mop. I've joked on Twitter before that I would trade with someone there who was complaining about doing a chore I didn't mind. I guess I wasn't really joking, because I totally would.

I really hope I marry someone who doesn't mind sweeping and mopping.