My house (I live in the basement apartment, my landlady lives in the main house above me) got a new AC unit today. As I'm, ahem, working from home for the next hopefully not for very long, I got to observe the maintenance men in their unnatural habitat - someone else's apartment.
Here are the rules of their job that I was previously unaware of:
- Start work before the tenant (that's me) is even up for the day.
- Don't open her bedroom door, so she sleeps peacefully as you work.
- Creep her out by making her keenly aware that there were people in her apartment while she was sleeping and she had no idea.
- Prevent her from showering all day. Or even using the facilities in peace, even if she locks the bathroom door.
- Make very little noise, so she only perceives your presence in the apartment, but doesn't actually sense it.
- Make her very aware of her single person habits, like eating chips and reading a book while laying on the couch, not because you're going to come into that room, but because you might and if you do, you will judge her.
- Don't wear deodorant. Eau de Maintenance Man is the best scent ever.
- When you leave, don't tell her. She'll feel unnerved long after you're gone.
- Leave a bigger mess than you found, including soaked towels of unknown origins.
- Fix the AC.
- Only ask to use her bathroom the first time, but leave the toilet seat up every time.
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| This was actually left on my bucket of laundry detergent, but I moved it for my landlady to deal with. I'm nice like that. |
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| Really? You couldn't just flip this back over and move it 12 inches? |
Clearly, I didn't get a chance to vote on these rules.
