Tuesday, November 20, 2007

E-mail my heart

We all know that breaking up sucks. As long as the other person isn't abusive or creepy, it's hard to leave someone you know is a great person but they're just not great for you, for whatever reason. However, we shouldn't make it harder for anyone than it already is going to be. When a breakup is inevitable, the dumper should at least be as polite and respectful as possible to the dumpee. What I mean is - do it in person. Do it as soon as you can from the time you know you can't be with them anymore. Be clear, and concise.

(Disclaimer: Break-up here is defined as one person telling another they don't want to be with them anymore, whether it be after 6 days or 6 years and regardless of "officiality" of the relationship.)

I just heard of yet another instance where a serious, long-term relationship was ended in an email. Seriously? Man/Woman up! Every single time I've had to be the dumper, I've made sure to do it in person. With two notable exceptions. One during senior year of high school, wherein I was a total dork, and I have since profusely apologized and this guy and I are great friends. The second being last December, the guy was so pushy and begging to be with me after only two dates of him being an arrogant creep, that I couldn't bring myself to see him again. If he didn't take it well on the phone, it could have been disastrous, or even dangerous, in person.

I've been disappeared on (where he just went away, with nary a word) twice. Not a fan. I'm also not a fan of the break-up over the phone. Pretending to still be in love with me for four days, so that you don't actually break up with me on my birthday, would make you more of jerk than just breaking up with me.

Just as two people should be very clear about the relationship going into it, they should be clear when it ends. For me, if things aren't working, tell me and we'll either fix it or move on with our lives.

We're grown ups, right? Act like it.

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