It's cool it's cool to love your family

I am the oldest of all my maternal cousins. There are sixteen of us, all but fourteen of whom are boys. (If I had paternal cousins, I'd be the oldest of them too.) There is a 20 year gap between me and the youngest cousin, who is darling, and it's weird to me that's she's already in kindergarten.

The problem is that it's always felt like I've been significantly older. My brother is the next oldest, but not counting him, the next oldest cousin is three years younger than I, the cousin after her is four years younger. So, when we all lived in Utah, I was 6 and they were babies (Continuing down the line, my mom and her siblings seemed to have kids around the same time, so each age group now has three or four kids of approximately the same age.) In Texas, it didn't matter much because we saw them so rarely. When we moved back to Utah, I was 14, and in jr. high/high school, and they were still in elementary school. Family gatherings were this weird thing, because I was too young to want to be with the adults for long and too old to be with the kids the whole time.

Though that age gap seemingly narrows as you get older, I still graduated college before anyone else even graduated high school. Just as my younger cousins were getting the hang of being college and being adults, I moved to DC. Even now, one has just recently graduated college, two have gotten married, but I've now been in the professional world for coming up on five years and have a Masters. We're all getting closer and closer to that age thing not really mattering, but it still does, because our level of life experience just isn't the same. We do live in different places and have the internet, namely Facebook, to get to know each other now, but it's hard to create a personal relationship (rather than just "keeping up with each other") when none has really existed before.

It's a strange place to be. I love my family and my cousins, and I hope they know that. I'd like to be real friends with them at some point, if that's in the cards, but it's okay if it doesn't happen for awhile. At the very least, I hope they know have a pretty cool older cousin on their side, no matter what.

Do what you gotta do

I had no idea that the job I scored the summer I was 19 was going to turn into a career. I knew I wanted that job. I apparently wanted it quite a lot. I visited the BYU Music and Dance Library last week and Myrna, my former boss and now colleague and friend, reminded me that I called her every single Monday for close to six months to see if there was an opening yet. I was always polite, never pushy, just persistent. It seems she actually uses me as an example of how to do express interest in a job.

Obviously, I did get the job, and I loved it. I worked on some great projects during my two years there - like cleaning up a Musical Theatre Reference Binder to make it more useful. I happen to know that the binder is still in use. I'm still proud of it. It was the first real professional project I designed and completed on my own, one that was my idea and I was trusted to see it through.

Working in the MAD Library was quite fun. I worked with great people, learned a LOT, and made a difference. I also had one of the coveted on-campus job - A/C, no food, related to my field (though it was closer to pure Theatre Arts at the time), great hours, a locker, and more.

I was sad to leave when I graduated. But the rest, as they say, is history. Being a Fine Arts Librarian is my calling, and I'm so blessed to have discovered it and be thriving this early in my life and career.

These excuses how they served me so well

1. It's hard.
2. My ___________ hurt(s). (This morning it was my knees. Both of them. Lame.)
3. My bed is comfortable.
4. I'm sleepy.
5. I'm an average size for an American woman. That's not so bad, is it?
6. It's not just work out clothes, it's ankle braces and sometimes wrist braces.
7. It's boring.
8. There's traffic on the way to the gym.
9. If I'm going to wear those workout pants, I have to shave my legs.
10. Workout clothes = not cute. Or flattering.
    
11. It's not dancing, not like I used to.
12. I can't find my headphones and gym music is lame.
    
13. Guh. I don't even like MY workout mix today.
    
14. I don't have time.
15. This used to be easier.
16. I don't have a workout buddy to meet up with.
17. I don't know how to use that machine.
18. I don't know the optimal workout for me.

Excellent. Now that's out of my system. No more excuses for me!

Autumn leaves under frozen souls

Night falls so fast now
Sunset appears so early
I don't like the cold

Look I was 17

I went closet diving this morning, looking for my high school yearbooks. There are a few people from my graduating class that live in DC now, and we're having a mini-reunion this weekend. During my search, I found several tchotchkes and papers and books I haven't seen in quite some time.

The pictures were the most intriguing. I found my old date dance pictures. I'd forgotten that Canadian Dave was in my group for Sweetheart's my junior year and that smiling with braces was often really awkward. I also found some really cute pictures from when the boy who gave me my first kiss came to visit me again my senior year. Not that I want to go back to high school, but I do have some fond memories of that time. I'll have to scan these pictures sometime and share them with you.

I do kind of wish I could go back and tell my 16-year-old self how cute I was, despite the braces and acne. I know I didn't always think so. I also wish I could take her bra shopping. I didn't quite figure out my proper fit until after graduation. And, speaking of fit, I wish I could still fit in those pants.

I've grown up a lot since then, as one should, but it's nice to know I'm still me.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone, because once again I'm just chilling in the airport

I'm a rebel, let them talk

The rule, once we were old enough to need one, was that we were allowed to do anything we wished with our hair, so long as we paid for it ourselves. Between three kids, we've had hobbit hair, a mullet, a mohawk, bangs, no bangs, and several colors (usually naturally occuring, just not on our heads).

I dyed my hair for the first time when I was 15, for a Halloween costume in which I was portraying Shmi Skywalker. It was a dark brown, so dark it almost looked purple in some light, and I enjoyed the change for the months it lasted. I enjoyed it so much, I dyed it again for another costume. I've had red streaks a couple of different times and, as you may recall, currently sport pink extensions and blonder highlights (to lighten my dirty blonde hair). As long as I take care of my hair, despite all the changes, it still looks good and I'm awfully fond of it. It's only hair and the changes are temporary.

What I haven't tried is a tattoo. Nor do I intend to. Those aren't so temporary.

Unless you use henna.

My lovely friend and former roommate, Elle, is starting a henna and photography business. She freehanded this designed based on a little input from me and I quite like it. Just not enough to have it for always.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone whilst watching "The Princess Bride" with my dad, who loves me no matter what color my hair is and actually thinks the henna is quite neat

You're my best friend

Allergy meds for a sudden attack: $8

Wedding gift: Enough to qualify for free shipping

Meals: hugs for the people who paid for them

Spending the day with Fran and Eilonwy and others celebrating Eilonwy's wedding: priceless


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone in Fran's car

(Disclaimer: I wrote an actual post on the 14th. Fran even remembers it. But it seems to have disappeared. I'll write it again soon!)

Well ya gotta have friends

Overheard while hanging out with Sisterpants and her friends in Rexburg:

1. I have right of way because I'm a human.

2. You wouldn't want to explain a raptor sleeping on your couch, that would be awkward. It's not even in the Honor Code.

3. Raptors would eat humans. And Crunch Berries.

4. Let's talk about making out.

5. Would you just wait? I'm picking my nose!

6. Now your whole chin face is covered in pricklies.

7. I feel like I'm crushing your vital organs.

8. Have you ever heard of a Willy Wet?

9. Have you ever fish kissed?

10. Holy rusted metal, Batman!

11. Somedays you just can't get rid of a bomb.

12. Chuck Norris or John Wayne

13. John Wayne hit on my grandma once.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone while trying to recover from all the laughter

Do your ears hang low?

This handsome devil?

This is Logan, my family's miniature beagle. He's 12 now and just as cute as he ever was. He's been following me around the last two days, which I love. Brotherface and I took him on a walk this morning. Always entertaining. He still loves to play, cuddle, and just be adorable. We love him, and he loves us. I'm going to enjoy having him around as long as I can.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone, because I like being away from an actual computer

Fly away, sweet bird of prey

I haven't been home since Christmas - almost 11 months! So, it's fitting that I'm flying home on the eleventh day of the eleventh month. I love going home. I love spending time with my family and friends and recharging my emotional batteries, though not my physical batteries because trips home are typically BUSY. Hopefully I'll do some of that on the plane, since I had to wake up at 3 AM. Some genius idea that was to have a 7 AM flight out of the airport an hour away from my apartment.

PRO: No traffic. Short or no lines. Longer first day of trip. Nonstop flight.

CON: I can't remember the last time I woke up at 3 on purpose. Early morning phlegm clearing (read: coughing) may convince my fellow passengers that I have the hamthrax.

Still, the hugs on the other end of this flight will be worth it!

- Posted from my iPhone because there isn't much else to do at the airport by yourself at 6 AM