Monday, November 24, 2008

When the jester sang for the king and queen

I've never been what anyone considered "popular". In school and even know, I've always known lots of people, and everyone seems to know me. Lots of people get along with and even like me. That still doesn't mean I was, am, or ever have been popular. Whatever popular means.

Granted, the Rock-tastic friends I hang out with in lands northward are quite likely the popular kids in their ward. While I am part of their group, even if I haven't seen much of them lately, I still wouldn't consider myself to be popular.

The biggest reason I didn't go anywhere to watch the BYU-Utah game yesterday was because I had to study/program. I listened to the game online and chatted with Eilonwy throughout, and actually got as finished as I could be by the fourth quarter.

The other reason I didn't go was because the viewing party I was invited to was being hosted by a house of the "popular kids" in my ward. I know all of them, and they obviously know me. We're all even kind of friends. But, I'm not really one of them, and sometimes I don't want to try to fit myself into somewhere I don't fit, even if they are well-meaning and genuinely like me.

I can't even define why I don't fit, but I don't, and it's really okay with me. I was missed though, as at least two friends texted me to ask where I was.

In chatting with Eilonwy, I mentioned reason #2 for not going, and she didn't think it was weird at all. The best part though? She had a definition for me.

Children who are sociometrically popular are kind, trustworthy, cooperative, and sociable.

Children classified as perceived popular are athletic, cool, kind (if they are also sociometrically popular) but also dominant, arrogant, and physically and relationally aggressive; these children also tend to be the most influential

So you can be sociometrically popular, or perceived popular.

Based on context, it means you are well adjusted and accepted socially.
Sociometrically popular kids would be the ones that everyone knows but that don't fall in the perceived popular category. *

So, I'm sociometrically popular, which totally works for me. I don't think it's bad to be perceived popular. It's just not me.

And yay Eilonwy for helping me out! She's pretty much The Awesome this week. And always.

*Antonius H. N. Cillessen and Lara Mayeux, From Censure to Reinforcement: Developmental Changes in the Association Between Aggression and Social Status Child Development, January/February 2004, Volume 75, Number 1, Pages 147 – 163


Giggles said...

Yes! My schooling is good for something!

Katie said...

My favorite line: "sometimes I don't want to try to fit myself into somewhere I don't fit, even if they are well-meaning . . . " That is why I am sort of ok with leaving in the ward in a couple months.