If No One Ever Marries Me

Strange day yesterday. Some newscaster last night mentioned that for many of us, Michael Jackson provided a soundtrack for our lives. And, for me, it's true. At least in part. I had my first slow dance to a Michael Jackson song - You Are Not Alone in 1995, with Captain Deviance. And while his last few years were nothing short of strange, his talent will be missed.

And speaking of strange, I once again bring you Strange Things Found in the Library, the lyrics version.

The Computor
music by Robert M. Boberg
words by Jeanne Westerdale
1970

Once a small, little, bald, little scientist
Gave his computor a long, long list.
A list of problems fifty miles long.
And then he burst into this song.

CHORUS:
With the minimum persuasion it can solve a long equation
It can add an "X" to zero which will prophesy a hero.
By an intricate connection it determines an election,
It can launch a guided missile while you stand around and whistle.

First it started very slowly as he turned his back;
It added the numbers with a clickety clack.
Then it subtracted while he winked his eye,
And soon began to multiply!

CHORUS

Then it rattled and it blinked and it flip-flopped fast,
Gobbled up the questions that he had asked.
And then it choked on the hundredth thousandth question.
And groaned with numerical indigestion, indigestion!

CHORUS 2X

(fast) With the
(quite slow) With the
(very slow and detached) With the

tongue click with a drop of the head

Rock on, little computor.

This is my favorite though.

If No One Ever Marries Me
Poem by Laurence Alma Tadema
Music by Harry Simeone
1961

If no one ever marries me,
If no one ever marries me,
I'm a little old maid,
If no one ever marries me.

If no one ever marries me,
And I don't see why they should,
For Nurse says I'm not pretty,
And I'm seldom very good.
If no one ever marries me,
I shan't mind very much.
I'll buy a squirrel in a cage
And a little rabbit hutch.

If no one ever marries me,
If no one ever marries me,
I'm a little old maid,
If no one ever marries me.

I'll have a cottage near a wood,
And a pony all my own,
A little lamb quite clean and tame,
And a pussy cat mine alone.
And when I'm really getting old,
At twenty-eight or nine,
I'll buy a little orphan girl
And bring her up as mine.

If no one ever marries me,
If no one ever marries me,
I'm a little old maid,
If no one ever marries me.

Well, now I know what I have to look forward to!

Also, I finally joined Twitter - follow me!