Saturday, October 6, 2007

Feelings of Inadequacy

I've mentioned before that I run a library that serves over 500 patrons. Of course, I am the only one assigned to work in this particular library. I am the acquisitions, cataloguing, management, circulation, and reference departments. It can make for some very interesting and different days, and a few boring ones. Overall, I love it. It's a challenge, but I have a great support system.

Unfortunately, I'm not perfect. Surprise! I'm still learning this whole library business, and there is a great deal for me to do and learn. Yesterday, I had a meeting with some of the other librarians in my building (they're in a different department) who have been monitoring my cataloguing work and have found some mistakes. I expected that there were a few things I would be doing wrong. I'm not fluent in MARC or AACR2 yet, though in the past, I've known enough to get by.

So when these two well meaning women came in to tell me what I'm doing wrong and how to fix it, they were very blunt and it freaked me out a little. I suddenly was totally overwhelmed with the magnitude of everything I'm doing and was totally humbled by the fact that I was picked to do this job. Do I really know what I'm doing? Do I really have the training and resources necessary? What were they thinking when they picked me? AAAAGGGGHHHH!!

Overall, the women were very nice. I quickly calmed down and they reassured me that I could do this and they could help. Even if I don't know what to ask sometimes (okay, all the time), they said that just by continuing to talk to them when I see them, they might pick up on something I could do differently and more easily. See what I mean by having a great support system? We went over my mistakes and I very quickly picked up what I needed to change, and it made sense. I guess I do know something after all.

Still, the rest of the day I was fighting my feelings of inadequacy. I was still unsure about whether or not I'm the right person for this project.

Then I talked to Theater Geek. I hadn't yet told him of my morning. We were discussing that tomorrow (now today, in just a few short hours), The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
will have a new General Authority. It's not exactly a small responsibility. There will be some changes in leadership, and not only will we have a new General Authority, but also a different First Presidency.

As Theater Geek said, "We can rest assured that someone is feeling very nervous and very inadequate right about now though. :) " I thought of myself and this new GA before he went on, "Imagine . . . going to bed tonight knowing that tomorrow, your name would be presented for sustaining vote as an apostle, Prophet, seer, and revelator."

That gave a little more perspective on things. My problems aren't so bad.

Still, if I were a drinking woman, yesterday would have been a good day for it. Instead, my roommate took me out for a thank you dinner (I organized her part of the kitchen after three months) at Bilbo Baggins , and I got this for dessert.

Coconut creme boulee in a coconut half shell. Divine.

I think I can handle my library after all.

1 comment:

Nancy said...

I know the feeling :)

You can do it!