Grant my last request

Most of the materials requests I get from teachers are pretty straightforward: title, author/composer/artist, call number. It's easy enough, and that's what I ask for when I send out my "how to use the library" letter at the beginning of the year.

Not everyone seems to get that memo, and this afternoon met with some strange requests.

Me: _____ Libary, this is Amanda.

Teacher: Hi! How are you?

Me: Good . . . You?

Teacher: Good, thanks. This is Hugging Orchestra Teacher. (Upon hearing her name, I think first of a former boss, which is unnerving.)

Me: Oh! Hi!

Hugging Orchestra Teacher: I'm looking for one of the Brandenburg Concertos, but I don't know what number. Can you pull all the ones you have and sing them for me?

Me: (without hesitation) No.

(silence)

Me: I mean, my sight-singing isn't all that great, and it's orchestra music.

HOT: Okay. Can you still pull all of them and then tell me which one starts with 8th notes?

Me: That could take awhile.

We proceeded to narrow down the possibilities. To 50%. I have to tell her at least 5 times that one of them is checked out and that both of the ones I do have start with 8th notes. I answer other questions at least two or three times each. Then, my next favorite:

HOT: So, it's grade three. Does it look hard?

Me: I have no idea. I'm a pianist. (All orchestral instrument music looks hard to me.)

After twelve minutes, we eventually decided that none of the titles were what she was looking for, but she wanted me to send her them anyway. So I did.

Then, an art teacher called.

Art Teacher: Hi, this is _____ at ________. I'm looking for some Frida Kahlo prints I usually check out this time of year.

Me: Okay! Great! Which ones did you want?

Art Teacher: The big ones. They're self-portraits, I think.

Me: (huh?) Great!

Luckily, I found some things fitting her description.

What strange requests have you been asked for?